


The Best Birth Control Around

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Abuse, Depression, Getting Together, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-03-14 13:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3411707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin is the captain of the Samezuka swim team, a third year on the brink of graduation, and an undefined term in regard to one Nitori Aiichirou.  He does not have time for an eight-month-old baby, family obligations be damned.</p><p>Not that Gou, his mother, his aunt who needs to get her shit together, or anyone on his team is listening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Wheels on the Bus

Kou did not consider bus rides pleasant. They smelled funny and clanked at sharp turns, and there was always that one man who shot her ungentlemanly glances. At least the last lessened when she rode with the swim team. Strangers took one look at Makoto's height and width, and they pictured bloody knuckles rather than cuddly kittens.

Kou cared even less for crying babies. A giggling cherub in frilly ruffles, sure, but a red-faced banshee? Send the creature back to its parents.

Only a demon could have constructed the hell that was a crying baby on a long bus ride.

She held the child in her lap, and she bounced her knees. Kou offered a bottle, but the baby only screamed louder as if the diluted juice personally offended her. Kou felt her cheeks flush as onlookers turned judgmental gazes on their corner.

"Gou-chan, make it stop!" Nagisa cried.

Haru sat beside Kou, his eyes only slightly wider at the noise, and the other three stood around them like walls meant to protect them from the outside.

"Kou," Kou snapped. "And I don't know what to do!"

“Maybe find someone who does,” Haru suggested evenly.

The baby wailed and beat her tiny fists at her side. Rei looked highly concerned, and Nagisa fretted on his toes. Makoto wore the same expression he did when he found a starving cat on the sidewalk.

Suddenly struck with inspiration, Kou pushed the baby into Makoto's arms. The third year paled with terror, but before his panic could take over, his hands cradled the child and brought her close to his chest. His instincts told him to sway slightly, and blissful silence washed over them all as the baby's wails faded into hiccups and then nothing at all. 

"You are a miracle worker, Mako-chan!" Nagisa gushed, throwing his arms in the air as if praising a higher entity. 

Kou and Makoto breathed sighs of relief, and Kou thought she might actually shed tears of joy. For a moment she wondered if her baby cousin would spend the rest of her life crying on this infinite bus ride to nowhere. 

"Was there not a babysitter available?" Rei asked. He stared at the tiny human being as if trying to comprehend its existence, a sweat drop forming at his temple. 

Makoto rocked the baby and smiled down as she started to coo in contentment. Nagisa peeked at the bundle and beamed at the miraculous transformation. Haru stared from afar with guarded curiosity though some tension did leave his shoulders at the resulting quiet.

Kou groaned, "I did everything I could to get out of this, but my aunt came to our house last night out of nowhere. Her husband left her, and she practically stopped functioning. Now I’m stuck with her kid when we should be focusing on the jamboree.”

Just as Kou walked out the door that morning, her mom cut off her path and held out her baby cousin. Kou tried to refuse, but her aunt chose that moment to release animalistic wails from the kitchen, and her mother’s eyes shined in that particular emotionally manipulative way. After that, the eight month old suddenly found her way in Kou’s arms.

When she met the boys at the bus station, she only shook her head in a warning gesture, and they climbed aboard. The child’s impressive bout of crying started barely two minutes out of the station.

Kou worked way too hard to sign Iwatobi up for this swimming jamboree to back out now. The competition was a tournament schools paid to join, and it provided a chance to practice before the conference races. After begging and working behind the scenes for the funding, Kou was not letting a mere baby stop them.

"What did you same her name was?" Makoto asked. He tapped the baby's nose to make her smile.

"Oh, I didn't," Kou realized. "Kairi. Kairi Yatogami."

"Kairi," Makoto cooed, and the eight month old giggled.

"You're like a father!" Nagisa teased. He pointed at the tallest of their group, and the spectators that had just turned their attention elsewhere reverted their gazes to the suspicious group of teenagers with a baby. Makoto blushed at the observation, but that did not stop him from cupping Kairi’s head and cradling her back as if he had done it for years.

"Who will hold her when we're swimming?" Haru wondered out loud.

Kou paled as everyone turned to her to answer the inquiry. "Um... I suppose I will," she volunteered shakily.

She hoped it was coincidence that Makoto chose that moment to wrap Kairi tighter in her pastel blue blanket and give her the bottle, effectively shielding the child from the outside world as she slipped into a doze.

"A babysitter would have been a preferable option," Rei sighed.

…

By the time they reached Seirin, the high school hosting the jamboree, Makoto successfully rocked Kairi to sleep, and the entire bus cheered when the Iwatobi swim club departed. Kou pulled both her coaching bag and the diaper bag over her shoulder as she declared, “Now’s not the time to let minor details bother us! Focus on your events.”

“Um… Gou-chan…” Makoto fretted.

“What is it?” Kou sighed. Though she wanted nothing more than to continue traveling Seirin’s sidewalks all the way to the pool, she forced herself to turn around and face her four team members and her cousin.

Makoto sweated and blushed as he suddenly regarded the sleeping baby like a feral beast. Gou put one hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow while Nagisa peered closer at Makoto’s dilemma.

“Oh!” Nagisa discovered. “Kairi-chan needs a diaper change!”

Kou suddenly felt a cold splash not unlike being hit by an ocean’s wave. “B-but she’s sleeping now! We can’t wake her up to change her diaper.”

“We certainly cannot leave her in a soiled one,” Rei stressed. He adjusted his glasses as he continued, “Such an unsanitary act is begging for consequences such as rash, infection-”

“Okay, we’ll change her,” Kou interrupted. Now with both hands on her hips, she scanned the surrounding area for something of which she did not quite know the nature. A convenient mother with a baby carriage? A giant sign emblazoned with ‘Changing Station’? Neither presented itself to her. “Let’s go to the pool. They have bathrooms, so maybe the female one will have a place to change her.”

“You sound so defeated, Gou-chan,” Nagisa noticed.

“I’m pretty sure only girls’ bathrooms have changing stations. I’ll have to do it,” Kou sighed.

Though the four boys attempted to look sympathetic, none of them quite masked his own relief. “If you don’t win this jamboree, I’m upping our training regimen to killer levels,” Kou growled, and they quickly turned pale, save for Haru of course. Feeling a little bit better, Kou led the way to Seirin’s indoor pool.

Makoto held Kairi nervously as he both tried not to jostle her from her sleep and avoided touching her sagging bloomers. Luckily, no rancid smell accompanied the weight, so they at least dodged that bullet, but Makoto had a strong instinct that the slightest wrong movement would cause the diaper to overflow with warm liquid and soak both Kairi and himself. He wondered if bleach removed stains of baby excrement.

He breathed a sigh of relief when they finally reached the pool, but their eyes did not sparkle as they normally did at the sight of a true indoor stadium. Rather, they all escorted Kou to the ladies’ room, and Makoto handed her Kairi.

Kou took the child as one might accept a death warrant, and she hesitated in the bathroom doorway.

“I have been told that there are techniques of changing that limit the baby’s exposure to germs,” Rei offered.

“I don’t know any of them,” Kou whined.

“Wait, do you know how to change a diaper, Gou-chan?” Nagisa questioned. He put his finger to his chin in a thinking gesture as he leaned close to Kou.

“How would I know? I’m the youngest in the family. I don’t have any baby siblings,” Kou defended herself. The high pitch of her voice broke the magic spell, and Kairi woke with a cry. Once she realized her replacement in Kou’s arms, she wailed louder, and Kou panicked.

Makoto reached for Kairi on instinct, and Kou happily gave her to him. The howls turned into pitiful whimpers as Makoto shushed her soothingly, still mindful of the bulging diaper.

“Makoto has younger siblings,” Haru volunteered.

“Makoto-senpai, do you know how to change diapers?” Rei questioned.

The tallest of the swimmers seemed to shrink under their gazes as he sweat-dropped. “Ah… it’s been a while,” he admitted. “I’m not sure I’d remember how after nine years.”

“That’s still more than any of the rest of us,” Nagisa pointed out cheerfully.

“It’s probably like riding a bike! It will come back to you… probably,” Kou encouraged.

Makoto looked far from convinced, but before he managed to formulate a protest, Kou practically shoved the third year into the boys’ bathroom despite the sixty pounds he had on her. Nagisa snickered as Makoto and Kairi disappeared behind the heavy door, and Kou turned her glare on him. The two second years promptly straightened as she barked, “Go help him. Maybe between all of us, Kairi will get her diaper changed.”

Kou handed the diaper bag off to Rei, and the three remaining swim team members slugged inside the bathroom. Kou sighed a breath of relief as soon as they left. She would eventually have to learn such skills, especially if her aunt did not pull herself together quickly, but motherhood did not appeal to her at the moment.

She made a mental note to keep Kairi far away from her boyfriend in case he got any ideas…

“Kou-san?”

Kou jumped at the sudden address, and she looked up to find the only person who actually called her by her preferred name.

“Nitori-kun,” she greeted.

The Samezuka swimmer smiled when she remembered his name. “Rin-senpai mentioned that you would be here. Where’s your team?”

“Yes, my brother told me about the jamboree in the first place…” Revealing that all of Iwatobi currently occupied the bathroom suddenly seemed a bit weird, so in lieu of answering, Kou asked, “Why are you away from the rest of your team?”

Nitori held up a container with six water bottles. “Our manager is in academic trouble, so I’m filling in for today,” he explained. “Rin-senpai will want to see you. Do you want me to show you where we are?”

“I’m sure I’ll find him later,” Kou waved the offer away. Nitori nodded his understanding, and he started to depart with a smile when a thought suddenly occurred to her. “Nitori-kun, wait!”

Nitori paused and regarded her curiously. “Yes?”

“What events is my brother doing today?” she asked.

A flush and sparkling admiration colored Nitori’s face as tended to happen when he spoke of Rin’s swimming prestige. “Since this is just practice for conference, Rin-senpai is letting the first and second years and the second and third strings use these races for experience. He’s only signed up for the 400 meter relay.”

A wicked grin spread across Kou’s face that actually made Nitori take a few steps back. “Perfect,” she said.

“I, uh, better get back to my team,” Nitori excused himself. “It was great speaking with you, Kou-san! Good luck today!”

The second year disappeared in a blur of his Samezuka jacket and gray hair, and when the Iwatobi boys finally emerged from the bathroom, they found Kou in a much better mood. Not that they noticed when all four of them slumped forward with exhaustion. Haru held Makoto’s jacket with two fingers.

“There wasn’t a changing table, so I had to put my jacket on a bench and use that,” Makoto explained. Though he now exposed his bare chest to the world, he carried Kairi in his arms, and her blue swaddling blanket kept her warm and happy.

“We Googled how to change a diaper, but we still got the jacket all wet,” Nagisa whined tragically.

“None of the sanitary techniques worked,” Rei mourned.

Kou brushed all their complaints away and held out her arms. “Here, give Kairi to me,” she ordered.

“Eh?” Rei and Nagisa shrieked, and Makoto regarded her uncertainly. Even Kairi paused in her cooing to gaze up at her surroundings with suspicion.

“You all need to get ready for your events,” Kou scolded. “I’ll take Kairi and sign us in at the officials’ table.”

None of them could argue her logic, and Makoto relented. Kou awkwardly adjusted the bundle of baby in her arms, and though Kairi whimpered at first, she finally settled down into a somewhat relaxed state. Kou did not realize she had been holding her breath until she sighed in relief. She then returned the diaper bag to her shoulder.

“I’ll meet with you later,” Kou promised.

The four boys sent back their various confirmations and went to find their designated locker room while Kou entered the main pavilion. She refused to let herself be distracted by the beautiful display of muscles before her as she scanned the crowds of swim teams in search of one in particular. While the officials set up the score tables and starting marks, the surrounding athletes stretched and listened to the motivating speeches of their coaches.

A few sent Kou odd looks for holding a baby, and she resigned herself to dealing with those sorts of questioning glances for a long time coming.

At last, an excited voice saved her the trouble of searching for her brother.

“Gou-sannn!”

“Momo-kun, please wait!”

Unfortunately, the exuberant first-year squeezed past Nitori’s attempts at holding him back, and Momo bounded across the stadium until he landed in front of Kou only to recoil at the sight of Kairi. “Gou-san? You betrayed me?” he shrieked.

“This is my cousin,” Kou deadpanned.

Instantly regaining all his energy, Momo exclaimed, “I knew we are meant to be!” As he started to rattle off his ideas of an ideal date, Kou suddenly wished she had claimed Kairi as her own instead. At least that might have prevented unwanted advances.

A strangled yelp suddenly cut off Momo’s rambling as Rin pulled the younger boy into a casual headlock. Nitori heaved a weary sigh at his swim captain’s side, and Rin raised an eyebrow at Kou and her companion.

“Gou? Isn’t this…?”

“Kairi, our baby cousin, yes,” Kou confirmed.

The eight month old gurgled in response to her name, and Nitori practically glowed at the sight. Rin and Momo, on the other hand, gave the child the most suspicious of looks.

“Why do you have her?” Rin questioned.

“Aunt Yuki’s husband left her, so she’s living with Mom and me now, and I got roped into watching her today… at least at the start,” Kou relayed.

“Aunt Yuki’s living… Wait, what do you mean at the start?”

Kou beamed and held out the baby. Her blanket slid from its fasten to reveal her white onesie underneath, the words ‘Pocket Princess’ emblazoned in glittery yellow across the belly. Kairi’s wisp of red-purple hair fell into her pale pink eyes as she cooed.

“Your turn, Onii-san.”


	2. Eeny Meeny Miny Moe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ai is surprisingly good with kids and Rin is not so surprisingly not.

“W-what?” Rin sputtered. “Gou, we are at a swim tournament, and I am captain of the team. I can’t just drop all my responsibilities to take care of some brat.”

Rin never understood where Gou gained her stubborn streak, for she certainly didn’t pick it up from him. She continued to hold out the baby until Kairi’s lower lip started to wobble as she decided that this game turned from fun to not in no time at all.

“I’m managing Iwatobi, and I don’t have all the help that you do. Besides, I know you only have one race. Get Nitori-kun to hold her during that. I’ve had her all morning,” Gou pleaded.

Tiny whimpers started to escape Kairi’s mouth as she wiggled in Gou’s hold. Her tiny hands curled into fists as a flush worked its way up the baby’s neck and reached her cheeks. As soon as her mewls broke into full cries, Ai burst forward and took Kairi from Gou’s arms. His sister looked far too smug when Nitori shifted the baby into a cradle hold and hushed her softly.

At least Ai managed to stop her crying.

“See? You’ll be fine.” Somehow, her assurance sounded more like a taunt to Rin’s ears, a notion that grew stronger when she passed the diaper bag to Ai.

Rin released Momo from the headlock, and while the first year bent over coughing, Rin opened his mouth to protest and demand that Gou retake the child. Then his gaze happened to wander to where Ai gently smiled at Kairi, and the image sealed his fate. Instead, he said, “You better be back here to take her home as soon as the jamboree is over.”

Gou smiled and waved in response as she pranced off to the officials’ table to presumably register Iwatobi. Momo tried to call out to her, but he only managed a rasp.

“I didn’t know you had a baby in your family,” Ai gushed. Somehow, Rin wasn’t surprised that the second year and eight month old took to each other so easily. Ai tickled her tummy softly, and Kairi giggled.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck as he replied, “My mom’s sister married late, so they just now had a kid. I didn’t know her husband left her though. I don’t think I’ve even seen Kairi since she was born.”

“How could anyone not want to spend every second with this pretty girl?”

Rin raised an eyebrow before he realized that Ai’s childish voice and silly question were directed to Kairi and not himself. In fact Ai focused all his attention to the baby, and he barely seemed to realize Rin and the rest of the tournament existed anymore. He tried not to let that annoy him as he turned his attention to where Momo mourned the loss of his sister’s presence.

“The 200 meter freestyle is our first event. Make sure they’re preparing and tell them I’ll be there before first call,” he instructed.

Momo instantly perked up, and he nodded eagerly before running off to where the Samezuka team stretched.

Rin returned his attention to his newest problem. Ai now made faces down at Kairi, and she laughed at the ones she deemed particularly amusing.

“Do you have younger siblings?” Rin blurted out. He hated himself for having to ask, but Ai always volunteered every aspect of his life. Rin never felt like he had to question his old roommate about anything because he would find out eventually.

Ai finally looked up, and he blushed when he realized that Rin must have been watching his display for a while now. “No… I’m an only child, but I love kids.”

Rin nodded, and he felt awkward for reasons he couldn’t quite identify. In order to push it away he cleared his throat and warned, “Well, you just volunteered for babysitting duty. Can you handle it?”

“Y-yes! I would love to! But…” As Ai trailed off, he glanced down to Kairi, and Rin understood.

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold her when you’re doing your events,” he assured him.

Ai lit up as if the sun shone from inside his heart. “Thank you, Rin-senpai! I promise to do my best with Kairi and in my events!”

A fond smile slipped past Rin’s defense. “I know you will. Come on, let’s go back to the team before anyone panics that the captain and substitute manager aren’t there.”

Ai propped Kairi on his slender hip, and he curled one arm around her back and held her up with the other. He followed Rin through the labyrinth of swim teams, and Rin noticed that a few of the swimmers shot them strange looks between their preparations. Rin supposed they did not often see a baby at a swim meet, especially not in the arms of a high school boy. At least Ai did not seem to notice as his eyes stayed trained on his ward.

Sousuke met his gaze as soon as they came into eyesight of Samezuka, and by the time they reached the area they claimed as their own, the third year confronted them. He gestured to where Ai and Kairi entertained each other a few steps behind Rin.

“What’s this?” he said.

Rin tried to convey all he felt on the subject with a shrug of his shoulders and a snort. “Gou dropped our baby cousin on me. You know how persuasive she can be.”

Sousuke chuckled low in his throat. “Yes, I remember her skills of manipulation. She used to talk you into playing dolls with her.”

“You swore you wouldn’t talk about that,” Rin hissed.

Sousuke barely managed to smother his laughter to clarify, “I only meant to say that Nitori did not stand a chance.”

“I don’t think he fought it that hard,” Rin huffed. Both third years took a moment to watch as Ai pointed to where swimmers lined up for the first event, the 200 meter relay. As Kairi imitated his gesture with her significantly smaller fingers, Ai explained to her why Rin preferred the 400 meter relay to the 200 meter as if she understood everything he said.

“Nitori seems to have the situation under control. You better talk to the first years. A few are about to wet themselves before they even get into the water,” Sousuke warned.

Rin nodded, and he forced himself to turn back to his team. He internally cursed both Gou and himself. He did not need this sort of distraction when he had a responsibility to the club.

Samezuka was one of the bigger schools that entered the jamboree, and they took up an entire corner of the indoor gymnasium. Their sports bags marked their territory, and towels and water bottles littered the floor. The second and third years who had some time before their events wandered to find friends they met at past tournaments while the first years huddled like frightened animals among the bags. 

Rin found Momo lecturing those in the 200 meter freestyle, and he relieved the first year of the task. He offered a few pointers and consoled some of the more nervous ones. Rin briefly wondered whether Haru would compete in the 200 meter as well as the 100 meter or if he felt too lazy to do more than one event in just a jamboree. Then he pushed Iwatobi from his mind and forced himself to make sure those in the next event, the 100 meter butterfly, were staying hydrated and loose.

When he took over the captain position from Mikoshiba, he made a vow to himself to give the job his all. He spent many nights forming individual training regimens for each of the club members, and he took the time to buy energy bars to pass out on the mornings of meets. Samezuka never left the school until Rin made them check their bags for their swimsuits, goggles, swimming caps, and at least three towels. Then he brought extra just in case.

Of course all this meant that he did not have the time to care for his baby cousin even if his aunt was going through difficult times. Why would Kairi be his responsibility anyway?

At least Ai kept her entertained and happy, and Rin did not think of her for the entire first half of the swim meet. The events flew by as he alternated between readying those in the next event and watching the ones in the pool. He kept a stopwatch in his hand to time his teammates, and then he checked the times with the officials and recorded them in his notebook.

Sousuke helped him, but even with the two of them working, Rin barely remembered to retrieve Kairi to let Ai prepare for the longest freestyle race, the one where his stamina shined.

Rin passed his captain notebook on to Sousuke, and he found Ai among the Samezuka bags. He had formed a pallet from a collection of towels, and Kairi napped soundly beneath a particularly soft one. Ai even used an umbrella to block the overhead lights.

“Oh, Rin-senpai! Kairi just fell asleep,” Ai whispered.

Rin nodded as he peered closer. Ai piled four towels to make Kairi’s mattress, and he had to admire his attention to detail.

“Is it almost time for the freestyle?” Ai asked.

“Have you not been paying attention?” Rin scolded.

Ai at least had the courtesy to look ashamed. “Kairi has been taking up all my attention. She cried for her bottle, so I mixed up some formula. Lucky thing they have instructions on the box. Then she spit up, so I had to change her into one of her backup outfits in the diaper bag, but that upset her because she hates to be put down, even just to change her clothes. So then I had to walk around and bounce her, and then she fell asleep, so I put together this bed with one hand, and I just now put her down.”

Ai did seem a little more weary than usual, not unlike how he looked after a long practice, and Rin worried that he might not do well during his race. Still, at least the kid was asleep.

“I’ll look after her. You go get ready. I know you’ll do well,” Rin encouraged.

“Yes!” Ai promised. He hurried to his feet and made to join the others in the freestyle.

Rin sat down in Ai’s place and watched the younger boy scamper away. He knew better than anyone how hard he worked to better his time, but he also had the insight of a captain, and he grimly understood that if Ai did not improve drastically, a kid in his first year would steal the spot he wanted. Rin could not favor Ai simply because he liked him, and Ai would turn down an honor he did not earn anyway.

It was a hard decision to make, and Rin only hoped that Ai found his groove soon.

Before such thoughts thoroughly depressed him, Rin turned his attention to his younger cousin. He told the truth when he said he hadn’t seen her since she was born. His mom insisted that they visit his Aunt Yuki in the hospital, but Rin did not see the appeal of the wrinkled, red-faced creature, and he stayed as far away as possible. 

He admitted to himself that Kairi looked far cuter now. Her round face and chubby cheeks gave her a cherubic air, and her lips pooched out as she slept. Watching her little chest rise and fall with each breath, Rin could not imagine her causing Ai all the trouble that he claimed.

However, Rin did see a glimpse of a purple onesie instead of the one she wore earlier, so at least that part of the story was true. Surely, a baby could not be that much work.

As if such rebellious thoughts summoned her, Kairi whined in her sleep. Rin inwardly panicked, and the eight month old stirred. Rin only watched in horror as her eyes blinked lazily until those pale pink orbs landed on him. They stared at each other in a moment of tension.

Then her lips twisted into a grimace, and heat rushed to those chubby cheeks. Then she began to wail. She skipped the cute whimpers and went straight to the full-lung cries.

Rin reached out his arms, but he hesitated just before touching her. He didn’t know how to hold a baby. Sure, he might have tugged Gou in his lap when they were kids, but they had been about the same size, and their parents normally held them that way to pose for pictures. Actually holding a baby significantly younger than him? Not a chance.

But her crying grew louder, and countless faces turned their way. Rin’s internal panic shot up, and he acted on instinct.

He grabbed Kairi beneath her underarms and held her up. Her crying wavered for a moment, possibly out of surprise, but when Rin failed to make another move, she started up again.

In an attempt to mimic how Ai held her, Rin pulled her to his chest, but his movements seemed choppier and rougher. She practically fell against him, and Rin silently thanked whoever watched from above that he was sitting down. Her little legs parted and slid on either side of his waist.

Tiny hiccups shook her whole body, and Rin moved his hands to rub circles on her back to hopefully calm her down. She wiggled in place as Rin muttered shushes that only she could hear. 

After a few moments, she eventually quieted, and Rin finally relaxed.

Okay, he believed Ai after all.

And he wished he would come back to take over.

Unfortunately, the backstroke directly followed the freestyle, so Ai probably took over keeping times in the captain notebook while Sousuke competed in his event. Then the breaststroke came right after that. Suddenly, Rin regretted letting Ai enter that as well even if the second year did want to master two strokes as he did.

Kairi at least seemed to find Rin’s warm body a suitable replacement to her bed of towels, and soon her chest returned to the rise and fall pattern of sleep. Rin dared not move at the risk of disturbing her, and he only allowed himself to breathe shallowly.

That was how Ai found him when he returned to take Kairi.

“Did she wake up?” he asked.

“Yeah, and then she fell back asleep. Please take her,” Rin said. He did not even care that he sounded desperate at this point.

Ai hesitated before he kneeled down and carefully picked Kairi up. He had to lean close in order to grasp her and still gain a good hold on her delicate head, and Ai’s damp hair dripped barely inches from Rin’s face. His scent, a mixture of honey suckle body wash and chlorine that Rin learned to associate with his dorm room in his second year, enveloped him unexpectedly.

Rin felt Ai’s fingers brush his bare chest as he secured a firm hold around Kairi. The feeling lingered on his skin, and not in an unpleasant way, but Rin ignored it in his rush and confusion. The relay was next, and he wanted nothing more than to face Iwatobi in the water once again. He needed to focus.

Rin barely made sure Ai successfully held Kairi before he raced to the starting block.

Unfortunately, Rin promised that first years and second years would mostly swim in the jamboree, so Sousuke stayed on the sidelines, and with three first years taking up the remaining spots, Iwatobi left them in the dust. Or bubbles rather. Still, nothing beat the rush that Rin gained when he challenged his old friends in the water. Now that they settled things between them, Rin took comfort in noticing their times as he wrote down those of his teammates.

When Rin did add the last times to his notebook, he glanced to Ai’s results, written in Sousuke’s handwriting, and his heart sunk when they were slower than normal. He guessed this would happen after Kairi exhausted him, but the reality of it still hurt. No wonder Ai seemed so subdued when he came for Kairi. Rin only wished he noticed more at the time.

Rin planned to say something encouraging, but when he met Ai with the rest of Samezuka, the second year played with Kairi as if nothing happened at all. In the end Rin decided to ignore the issue for now.

“Let’s take her back to Gou,” he suggested instead.

Ai pouted at the mention of parting with Kairi, but Rin could see the exhaustion in his muscles and bones. Swim meets wiped him by themselves, but the added task of an eight month old nearly finished him off.

Rin escorted Ai and Kairi to where Iwatobi left their things, and he managed to call Gou’s attention away from their private celebrations. While Rin recorded Samezuka's data, he noticed that Iwatobi experienced a successful day. Unsurprisingly, Haru won his division, but Nagisa had a good race as well. He placed second overall, and Makoto and Rei both congratulated him enthusiastically. Gou did, too, until Rin pulled her away.

“Your turn, Onii-san,” Rin mocked, referencing her own words from earlier.

Gou stuck her tongue out at him, but Rin knew she would not go back on her word. She held out her arms for the baby even as her expression clearly said that she did not want to do so.

Ai hesitated as well. He glanced at Gou’s arms uncertainly, but he eventually peeled Kairi away and passed her to Gou. As soon as Ai stepped away, Kairi cried out and reached for the blue-eyed boy.

The second year looked like he wanted to cry, but he forced himself to stay back to make the transition as easy as possible for Gou. Even though Ai’s gesture likely helped, Gou grimaced as she patted Kairi’s back in a half-hearted attempt to calm her.

“Come home this weekend,” Gou ordered.

Rin nodded. He had planned to visit anyway, and though he did not particularly enjoy babysitting, he knew his father would have wanted him to help his mother.

Maybe if he was lucky, this whole problem would disappear by the end of the week.


	3. Hush Little Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the plot begins to creep into the writing, and angst and cute fight for dominance. Also, Rin needs Ai in his life.

Rin stayed as far away from his childhood home as possible during his second year. Though Samezuka required its students to live on campus, they could leave every weekend if they wished as long as they checked out with their class adviser. Neither Rin nor Ai ever took advantage of this, and they made a routine out of staying in their dorm to catch up on homework, practice swimming, or even splurge and go out to eat or catch a film.

They didn’t talk about why they preferred school to home. Rin refused to return to a place that only reminded him of his failures. He imagined entering his old bedroom where posters of Olympic swimmers and scribbled practice regimens taped to his wall would greet him, and the idea turned his stomach.

However, that was then, and now that Rin was a third year, he changed in other ways than his reconciled friendships with Iwatobi and his mellowed attitude. With the help of Gou’s texts and his mother’s letters he started going home at least every other weekend.

While he no longer had a few days to do homework and squeeze in extra practice, he did enjoy spending time with his family. His mother’s smile and direct yet gentle way of speaking still offered him comfort, and Gou matured into quite the intelligent and interesting person in his absence. Sometimes she said things that made him pause in shock only to laugh because he genuinely liked her and not just in an obligational brotherly way.

As far as he knew, Ai still stayed at Samezuka even though Momo, his new roommate, returned home every chance he got. Rin still didn’t ask why.

After the jamboree at Seirin, Rin knew to expect Aunt Yuki and Kairi at his home, and he prepared himself for a less-than-relaxing weekend. He rode the bus to his neighborhood, but he exited one stop early to allow himself the chance to walk the rest of the way to collect his thoughts. Besides, the exercise with his heavy backpack counted as some extra strength training.

The early morning protected him from the worst of the heat, but he felt the warmth in the air that warned of scorching weather by afternoon. Summer grass danced in the light breeze, and Rin thought of ocean waves rather than the gentle prairie.

On particularly bad days Rin thought of how much time he wasted during his bout of depression, but when he rose from those dark moods, he inwardly thanked Haru, Makoto, Nagisa, and even Rei for keeping him from letting more time pass him by.

And Ai. He thanked Ai most of all even if not in spoken words or obvious gestures. Rin did not like to think of where he would be if the younger boy had not encouraged him and admired him even when he did not deserve it.

Now that his third year began, Rin felt confident that he would finally achieve what his father could not. He would swim in the Olympics, and he would do so with support from his family and friends behind him.

The golden thoughts and pleasant weather put him in a good mood as Rin walked the way to his front door, but something withered inside of him when he knocked, and he heard wails coming from the other side. Several moments passed before his mother opened the door, her dark red hair flying in her face from a rapidly-falling bun.

“Rin,” she greeted. She pulled Rin into a hug, backpack and all, and while this was not unusual, Rin noticed how his mother seemed to fall against him as if briefly taking advantage of not having to support herself.

When she pulled back, she forced a smile. “I’m glad you’re home. Gou told me you informed her of our situation at some tournament? You just missed her, you know. She went out about thirty minutes ago.”

Rin nodded, and he silently admired his sister’s good timing to escape. “Yeah… is Aunt Yuki still here then?” It was a dumb question, and he already knew the answer, but Rin grasped for something to say.

The piercing calls of a baby’s cry cut through their reunion, and Rin heard another wail that sounded deeper than a child’s. His mind shied away from what that meant.

His mother grimaced as she took his backpack from him and set in by the door. “Why don’t you come inside? I’m afraid I don’t have anything cooked, but try to make yourself comfortable, okay?”

Rin never considered his mother the most traditionally maternal of women. Even before they lost his father, she insisted that her husband pick up his own clothes and occasionally assist her with dishes. She kept strict rules to ensure that his fishing equipment stayed in the shed, so her house remained free of “that sour seaweed smell.”

She was devastated when he died, but Rin only realized that when he looked back on his childhood memories. At the time she stayed strong, and she immediately threw herself into odd jobs to support her family and even raise the money for Rin’s study abroad. She eventually found a steady income by working at a sporting goods store, and she single-handedly brought her nontraditional family back to stability.

Now that Rin was older, he realized the difficulty she endured to do so, and he better understood why sometimes, when he woke up early, he found her solemnly staring out the window with a forgotten coffee cup in her hand.

Still, even though he missed his father severely, Rin never felt like he lacked in his home life. His mother kept a somewhat clean house, and the atmosphere stayed welcoming and peaceful.

At least… it used to feel that way.

When Rin stepped inside and shut the door behind him, he gained the impression that he had entered a war zone. Burp cloths, dirty bottles, and packages of everything from formula to baby wipes occupied the end tables in the living room, and when he moved to the kitchen, he found a mountain range of baby food on the counters. A sink full of soapy water acted as a graveyard for more used bottles and pacifiers.

Rin noticed blankets on the couch and suitcases on the floor. He only saw two diaper bags, and he had no idea how so many baby things could fit in those limited spaces.

He heard another cry, and his heart sank.

“Okaa-san… where is Kairi staying?” Rin asked.

His mother half-heartedly started organizing some baby toys on the armchair. “Well, I gave Yuki my bed, and I have been sleeping on the couch, so I, uh, let her put Kairi’s crib in your room.”

Familiar anger stirred deep in Rin’s stomach and threatened to rise, but he sighed instead. As much as he wanted to spew blame and frustration, he saw the stress around his mother’s eyes, and he suspected she wanted to do the same.

“What happened, Okaa-san?” he asked.

She gave up on the toys and straightened her posture to face him. “Rin, it’s not a good situation. Yuki-”

“Onee-chan!”

The shriek that carried from the master bedroom sounded nothing like the aunt Rin remembered. He never adored Aunt Yuki or anything, but he respected her and enjoyed talking to her during family gatherings. She reminded him of Haru in some ways. She liked to do things in her own style, and she often disregarded conventional means.

However, Rin’s image of her in his mind involved a bright smile and bouncy steps. An excited voice that did not match the warbled cry he just heard.

“Coming, Yuki!” his mother called. She sent Rin an apologetic look before she hurried to her own bedroom.

Rin thought about following, but he decided to leave the comforting to his mother. He never particularly excelled in that department, and he doubted his aunt wanted input from her teenage nephew anyway.

Then a differently pitched wail bellowed through the house, and Rin realized that though he heard the cry multiple times, no one had yet made an effort to check on Kairi.

The eight month old seemed to realize the same thing because she did not content herself with a single outburst this time. Her cry raised into a high-pitched scream, and then another joined hers.

“Make it stop, make it stop! I can’t stand to hear her!”

The animalistic rasp grated on Rin’s ears, and some primal fear made him freeze. He understood how emotions sometimes overcame a person through both personal experience and observation. He had seen plenty of athletes crack under the pressure or lose it after a bitter defeat, but this was different.

He knew Aunt Yuki, but he did not recognize this creature that dissolved into this madness.

Kairi continued to cry.

“Rin!” his mother shouted from the bedroom. He could not see them from his paralysis in the living room, but he could imagine his mother desperately rubbing circles in his aunt’s back as she trembled under the stress. “Rin, please take Kairi outside!”

Take Kairi… outside? Him? He hesitated to even pick the child up, and she expected him to somehow calm her down and occupy her with no help at all?

“Rin, now!”

The desperation in his mother’s voice spurred him to move, and Rin stumbled to his own bedroom. He barely noticed the baby blankets and toys that took up his bed and desk, and his posters and childhood trinkets did not register in his mind at all. He instantly focused on the crib in the center of the room, and the red-faced baby frantically wailing and beating her little fists.

Rin might have stared forever if he did not hear his mother whispering reassurances to Aunt Yuki further down the hall. As things were, he avoided Kairi’s wild flailing arms and picked her up with both hands. He hesitated here but eventually pulled her to his chest and wrapped an arm around her back.

He thought about calling something to his mother, but he figured she would realize he took Kairi as soon as silence washed over the house in their absence. Besides, he had his cell phone if she wanted to contact him, but somehow, Rin thought she would have her hands full without worrying about him.

Rin sped out of his bedroom and then out of the house. He did not realize that he forgot a diaper bag or any sort of baby supplies until he walked a quarter mile away, and he did not deem the items worth venturing into the house again.

The rhythmic bounce of his near-jog away from his childhood home seemed to content Kairi for a reason Rin could not guess, and she quieted by the time they left their street. Rin appreciated the silence more than he thought he could, but now that he escaped the worst of it, Rin did not know where to go.

He glanced down at the wisp of hair a shade lighter than his own. “What am I going to do with you?” he wondered out loud.

Kairi gurgled into his shirt.

The morning still kept the summer air pleasant, so Rin decided to pick up drinks and then find a park. Parents still took kids to parks, right? As a teenager, he barely remembered what he enjoyed as a kid save for swimming and relays and training. Did he once like playing outside on solid ground as well?

Knowledge of his neighborhood filtered back into his mind as he searched for a convenience store. He studied so long in Australia, and then he chose a live-on campus rather than an ordinary public school, so he felt like a stranger returning after years away… and he was, really. Still, nothing really changed in small neighborhoods like this, so he soon found the family-owned store he used for ice cream and popsicles during middle school summers.

He chose a protein shake and an apple juice, and he paid in cash. The middle-aged cashier shot him strange looks that Rin purposefully ignored.

Surprisingly, Kairi seemed content to go along with whatever Rin wanted. Now that someone held her and offered her the slightest bit of attention, she acted the perfect angel.

Rin thought back to his aunt’s wail of despair at the sound of her daughter crying, and he wondered what he was missing. Didn’t women gain some sort of maternal instinct once they had a child? Though Rin definitely understood her frustration at the child’s persistent cries, he felt a bit sorry for Kairi. She only wanted to be held, but she received angry yells and exasperated sighs in return.

Guilt started to creep through Rin’s thoughts as he thought of how he reacted to Kairi as well.

Pushing that from his mind, he carried his cousin and the drinks to the local park. Most of the kids in the area seemed to be taking advantage of the warm day. They scurried across the playground equipment and organized games of chase. Someone even brought a cheap volleyball net, and they pulled together a street game.

Rin tried to avoid the crowds, and he found a small space of clear grass beneath a cherry blossom tree. Once he inspected the dirt for signs of bugs or wayward sticks, Rin set Kairi down on the grass. At least she was old enough to sit up on her own, and though his knowledge on babies was deficit at best, he thought she could probably crawl as well.

Kairi stared at the cherry blossoms and running children in wonder, and she waved her hands as if attempting to join the fun herself.

Rin leaned back against the tree trunk and opened his protein shake. He sighed as he watched the small human being explore the world around her, and he wondered how his family could possibly resolve this situation.

As much as he wanted to help his mother, he simply did not have time for an eight month old. Not this close to the Olympics.

Kairi seemed to have a sixth sense for bad timing because she chose that moment to shudder and cry, but unlike her previous declarations of distress, this time she uttered something like words, “Ba, ba. Ba, ba.”

“Ba, ba?” Rin repeated incredulously.

“Ba, ba!” Kairi insisted.

“Oh! Bottle,” Rin realized. He reached for the apple juice and realized with great regret that he did not even think of picking up a bottle for her. He would just have to make do for now.

Rin unscrewed the top, and he cupped the back of Kairi’s head as he carefully tipped the opening into Kairi’s mouth. He eyed the liquid with the preciseness of a surgeon and mentally measured the exact angle to offer her a perfectly sized sip.

Then Kairi shot out her hand and wiggled in place, and Rin poured half the bottle of juice all over Kairi’s face and green onesie. Her cries rose a few octaves.

Rin’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance, and he pulled out his cell phone. He scrolled through his contacts and clicked the one labeled ‘Ai.’


	4. Three Blind Mice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rin needs Ai's help, and Ai is happy to oblige until the conversation steers in the direction of a topic he would rather avoid. Warnings for mentions of depression.

Ai found Rin easily. He was the only teenage boy in the entire park bouncing a crying baby in his arms, and his shout of “Ai, come take her!” confirmed it.

Ai hardly ever left his dorm on a Saturday as he preferred to take the time to relax, and lately, swim extra hours at the pool, but when he received Rin’s call for help, he flew to the nearest bus station. Luckily, he had just enough money left over from the birthday cash his grandparents sent for the fare, and he secured a quick ride to Rin’s neighborhood. After that, he followed Rin’s texted directions to the park.

The happy shouts of children playing fell on his ears, and Ai smiled even as he sped over to where Rin waited beneath a cherry tree.

“Rin-senpai, what’s the problem? Oh…”

Kairi clutched Rin’s shirt as she cried, and Rin alternated between half-heartedly bouncing her in his arms and just holding her in a grim acceptance of his fate. Kairi’s pink onesie stuck to the baby’s skin as it dripped with unknown liquid, and Ai easily identified the source of both the baby’s and teenager’s discomfort.

“She spilled apple juice on herself,” Rin grumbled.

Ai reached for Kairi despite her wet clothes, and Rin happily handed her over. Kairi took one glance at the new face holding her, and her scowl softened. When Ai beamed at her, she stopped crying altogether.

“Is there a spare outfit in the diaper bag?” Ai asked.

Even as he posed the question, he glanced around the tree for the bag only to see a half-empty apple juice bottle and a discarded protein shake.

“I forgot the bag,” Rin mumbled.

Ai shifted Kairi in a more comfortable position on his hip. “I guess we better go pick up a few things then.”

Rin led the way to an all-purpose store. This was his neighborhood after all, so Ai happily followed behind him. Though his curiosity yearned to know what made Rin Matsuoka actually call on him for help, Ai knew Rin needed some time to open up. Prying at him made things worse if it was not done expertly. Ai learned that during his first year through a system of trial and error.

Many others strolled through the city on this warm Saturday, and despite Rin’s obvious irritation, Ai felt a sense of contentment start in his stomach and then flood down to his feet and fingertips. Kairi smiled at him, and Ai tickled her stomach.

When she giggled, Rin glanced back at them, and some of the tension loosened in his shoulders. Ai guessed that his initial embarrassment and frustration faded away as they moved farther from the park.

Rin slowed down until he matched Ai’s pace. “Thank you for coming out here. I know you were probably busy,” he grumbled.

Ai beamed at the show of gratitude even as he stumbled to assure Rin of his lack of inconvenience. “No, I’m glad you called! I didn’t have anything to do anyway. I finished my homework during study hall yesterday, and I went to the pool this morning. I was just coming out of the shower when my phone rang.”

“I think your hair is still a little wet,” Rin realized. He picked up a piece of Ai’s silver hair and scrutinized its moisture between his fingers.

Ai might have noticed the light blush on his cheeks if he had not been so concerned about his own heated skin. “I guess I forgot to dry it after you asked me to come.”

Kairi seemed to think that playing with Ai’s hair looked like fun because she grabbed two handfuls and tugged until Ai yelped. Rin jerked his hand back as if he had been the one harmed in the process, and his expression darkened into something like a stern teacher’s glower.

“Kairi,” he warned.

“It’s okay,” Ai assured him even as he fought Kairi’s hold off with one hand. As soon as he freed one part of his hair, Kairi grabbed another. Just how many arms did this little girl have?

Rin tried not to chuckle, but laughter pushed through his somber mood, and Ai smiled despite the pain in his scalp. At least he managed to lift his senpai from that dark cloud that corrupted his thoughts every now and then.

“This place should have what we need,” Rin said. He pointed to a super store, and Ai followed him inside.

Kairi squeaked as several people jostled Ai in a row, and the poor second year struggled to keep his feet while also protecting the baby in his arms. Rin noticed his dilemma and grabbed onto his jacket sleeve and pulled him along. While people brushed Ai aside, they parted for Rin’s form, and Ai wondered if that was due to his height or general intimidating aura.

“Thank you,” Ai mumbled.

“Just stay close to me,” Rin replied. “Saturdays are the worst times to go shopping.”

They managed to navigate the battle and followed the convenient signs to the baby section. Ai read the labels of several different brands of bottles, and he chose one that sounded like the best. Rin went with it. They repeated this process for the baby formula, diapers, and a new outfit. They chose small containers that would get them through the day.

Some passersby shot them strange looks, and Ai sometimes got the feeling that others whispered about them, but Ai paid them no attention at all. Lots of people whispered bad things about him back when he went to middle school with bruises or when he failed to improve his time at swim practice. Ai learned to ignore it a long time ago.

When they picked up everything they needed to take care of a baby for one day, Rin started off toward the cashiers, and Ai tried to follow after him. Unfortunately, the other shoppers started to shoulder him again.

When Ai grasped Rin’s shirtsleeve out of desperation, the third year did not comment, and Ai kept it there even when they reached the cashiers. Rin paid with a card, and he took the bag full of supplies since Ai carried the baby.

Ai assumed they would return to the park since the sun shone directly overhead now, and they could change Kairi under the cherry tree, but Rin turned toward an entirely different direction. Ai stumbled over his feet as he tried to follow, and he asked, “Where are we going?”

“It’s about lunchtime, and I owe you one for coming to help me,” Rin explained without really explaining at all.

Ai tried to catch up with Rin, but coupled with the extra weight of a small child, he breathed a little heavy when he said, “You don’t owe me anything-”

Rin shot him a stern look not unlike the one he gave Kairi when she pulled at his hair, and Ai decided to just go with it.

Rin took them to a fast food chain restaurant that every first world child likely visited at least once a week growing up. Ai had actually only been a few times when he stopped there with a school group after a field trip or middle school swim meet. His eyes lit up as soon as he laid eyes on the iconic sign, and he stared at the menu with reverence.

Kairi reacted the same though she seemed enchanted by nearly everything.

“Tell me what you want, and I’ll order. You can change Kairi’s clothes. She’s probably going to smell like apple juice for the rest of the day though,” Rin said. He handed Ai their shopping bag of baby items.

Ai took a few more minutes to decide, but once he relayed his choice, he took Kairi to the bathroom. He thought about going into a stall to change her for privacy reasons, but people did not mind naked babies, right? Surely, he did not impose on Kairi’s honor by changing her where there was actually room to lay her down on a bench.

In the end Ai waited until the bathroom was completely empty before he draped his jacket on the bench and laid Kairi down on top of it. He carefully tugged her stained outfit off of her, and he cleaned the sticky residue on her skin with baby wipes.

Kairi whined at the cold moisture, but Ai cooed nonsense words at her to distract her. She seemed to know when he spoke actual Japanese and when he mumbled gibberish. Sometimes he threw in what random English words he knew (most of which he learned from Rin), and Kairi giggled as if he knew that he was being silly.

Putting the fresh outfit on was a little more difficult than taking the dirty one off. This, Ai acknowledged, was partly his fault because he chose an onesie with a peter pan collar and purple frills around the waist that looked like a skirt. Once he managed to contort Kairi into the fabric, Ai decided it was worth it. She looked adorable.

Kairi thought so as well, for she squealed when Ai lifted her up to see herself in the mirror.

At that point someone walked in to use the bathroom, and Ai blushed and hurried out the door. Kairi found the whole situation hilarious, especially when she bounced in Ai’s arms as he picked up his pace to exit the bathroom and search the restaurant for familiar red hair.

Rin sat at a small table for two by a window, and Ai sat down across for him.

“Did everything go okay?” Rin asked as he unwrapped what must be his second chicken wrap, the only semi-healthy option on the menu.

Ai nodded as he arranged Kairi’s legs in his lap. She reached for the wrapped food at Ai’s spot, and once again, Ai came to the conclusion that young children must have more than two arms when he struggled to keep her from sending all the food to the floor.

“Yeah,” he finally remembered to answer. “I put her dirty clothes in the bag.”

Ai handed Rin the bag from the store, and Rin dug inside and pulled out the bottles and formula. While Rin studied the side of the box to find the correct ratios of formula and water, Ai opened his box of chicken nuggets and set his fries out carefully on a napkin. Kairi reached for a chicken nugget, but Ai assured her that her own food would be ready soon.

Meanwhile, Rin carefully poured water from the child’s sized cup he bought into the bottle, screwed the top on, and shook the formula and water together. He looked incredibly satisfied when he handed the bottle to Kairi, and Ai did not quite fight the smile that reacted to that.

Luckily, Rin did not notice, and Ai adjusted Kairi in his lap, so that she could drink her milk while he ate his own food.

“Thank you for treating me,” Ai remembered to say after two chicken nuggets.

“You don’t have to thank me. You took a bus all the way here on a Saturday to help me with my cousin. You didn’t have to, you know. I wouldn’t have been mad,” Rin said.

Ai raised his eyebrows, and Rin huffed out a laugh. “Okay, I would have been mad at the time, but not once I brought Kairi back home and returned to Samezuka.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. Of course I would come no matter what, and you can call me anytime,” Ai promised. Once he realized how much he revealed in his short speech, he blushed and hastily shoved a chicken nugget in his mouth. He almost wished Kairi would throw her bottle away and start crying just to take some of the attention off himself.

However, Rin did not run or call him mean names. His face just softened in that particular way. “Thanks, Ai,” he said.

Ai relaxed, and he managed to nibble on his food without choking on it.

Rin did the same for a while, but Ai noticed that he ate slower and slower until he ate nothing at all. Ai recognized the signs, and he knew Rin was about ready.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ai ventured.

To give Rin some privacy, he glanced down at Kairi to find her eyes fluttering and the nipple slipping from her mouth. Ai pulled the bottle from her and set it on the table, and Kairi officially slipped into sleep. Ai cradled her close.

“This is my problem. Well, no, it’s not,” Rin clarified. “I don’t see why I should be the one to take care of her, but you shouldn’t have to either. It’s just a fucked up situation.”

“It’s good that your family is there for your aunt in her time of need. Still, you’re only in high school. It’s not your responsibility,” Ai responded diplomatically.

Rin nodded absently as he reflected more on his own inner thoughts than Ai’s words. “I just don’t get it. Aren’t women supposed to get all these maternal hormones once they have a kid? Why is Aunt Yuki freaking out just because her daughter’s crying? That’s what babies do, right? Sure, it’s annoying, but you pick her up and give her what she needs. Aunt Yuki acted like she couldn’t bring herself to do anything.”

“She’s probably depressed.”

The words slipped out of Ai’s mouth without his permission, and he blushed as he suddenly realized what he said. He always avoided using words such as depression and anxiety because saying them implied that he knew something about them, and Ai avoided that at all costs. Though he babbled constantly about all other subjects, he normally kept a tight rein on those taboo words, but being around Rin always made him looser with his tongue.

Sure enough, Rin lifted his gaze to Ai, and he watched him closer than he had all day. Ai squeaked and then panicked internally as he realized that he held a sleeping baby. At least luck still looked down on him in some ways as the eight month old never opened her eyes.

“What makes you say that?” Rin questioned.

“Uh…” Ai cheeks burned with a fever that never seemed to go away, and he knew that he sounded like an idiot, but Rin did not glare at him with suspicion or judgment. He genuinely wanted to know, and Ai could hardly lie to that. “I mean, I can’t tell for sure, but if she can’t bring herself to do normal things and if she feels like she can’t handle her situation, that sounds like symptoms for depression. I think I’ve heard that women sometimes get depression after they have a baby.”

“Depression…” Rin tasted the word and mulled over the implications. Ai tried not to fidget openly in his seat, but Rin stared at his food now. “Well, her husband did just leave her.”

Ai secretly thought the baby might have more to do with Rin’s aunt’s difficulties than her husband, but he kept his opinion to himself. He already revealed more than he meant today, and he just felt grateful that Rin had not pried too deeply.

“So how do you know so much about depression?”

Ai felt like crying.

This time, when Rin pinned him with that forceful gaze, suspicion did factor into the equation, and Ai knew he would spill. He never fought against Rin when he took on that edge. He was not afraid of Rin, but he always had suffered under a submissive personality. He hated confrontation, and he always went along with what others dictated.

“My, um, my mother takes antidepressant pills,” Ai admitted. “But I remember what she was like before her prescription, and, uh, they don’t always work.”

Ai almost wish he hadn’t seen the way Rin sat back in his chair, his eyes wide and shocked. Ai did not think he had ever made Rin make that facial expression during the whole year they roomed together, and he wished the burn of his cheeks would go away.

He kept telling himself that this was not something to feel ashamed of. His mother took antidepressants just like some people took insulin for diabetes. It was medication for an illness, and Ai was just happy that his mother had made progress.

If Rin did not understand that, then that was no problem of Ai’s.

“I… see,” Rin said. “I’m sorry.” His voice rumbled gruffly in his throat, and he obviously had no idea what to say.

Still, he did not spew hateful accusations or ask obnoxious questions, and Ai felt that was enough. At least Rin tried even when his reputation sometimes implied otherwise. This softness that Rin rarely revealed was why Ai idolized him so much.

“It’s okay. The medicine helps,” Ai assured him. He offered a small smile, and Rin smiled in return. Some of the tension eased between them.

They finished their lunches with light chatter. Ai filled Rin on what rooming with Momo was like, and Rin offered mock sympathy when he was not laughing at the first year’s antics. Rin in turn admitted that rooming with Sousuke felt a little like being at a swim meet all the time what with all the competition. Ai wondered if Rin missed rooming with him like Ai missed rooming with him, but he didn’t dare ask.

As Rin finished the last of his second hamburger, Kairi started to twitch in Ai’s lip. Ai quickly lifted her up and greeted her with soft whispers of encouragement before she could start crying. It worked, for she smiled as soon as she fully opened her eyes.

“Aren’t you a cutie?” Ai cooed.

“When she’s slept and fed,” Rin muttered.

“Pway,” Kairi protested.

Ai’s entire face lit up at the garbled word. “What, Kairi?” he urged.

“Pway,” Kairi repeated. “Pway now.”

“Play?” Rin guessed.

Ai’s eyes widened in awe. “You can understand her,” he gasped.

Rin shrugged.

“Pway.” This time, Kairi pointed, and Ai followed her tiny finger and eventually saw a playground.

Not many fast food restaurants still had playgrounds as health code violations skyrocketed around them, but Ai still caught glimpses of a slide or a ball pool here and there. However, Rin somehow found the only restaurant left with a full playground with all the works. Ai’s eyes shined almost as bright as Kairi’s.

“Ai,” Rin said sternly. “Don’t you dare.”

His words fell on an empty chair. Ai carted Kairi to the playground, and he did not look back to see Rin’s head fall into his hands.


	5. London Bridge Is Falling Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for more mentions of depression. I feel guilty for posting such a darkly-themed chapter on the day I find out about the Free! movie coming out! This should be a day for celebration and fluff and clinking coffee cups together! Instead, I present sad inner thoughts. At least the plot really takes off in the next chapter, and it should be more upbeat for the most part.

Rin managed to pull Ai and Kairi away from the playground just as the sun grew tired of its job and took a nosedive for the horizon. He gave Ai money for the bus fare back to Samezuka because the kid honestly didn’t have to sacrifice his Saturday to come help him. Though when Ai and Kairi made doe eyes at each other as Rin took her back in his arms, he started to wonder how much of a sacrifice it really was.

“Don’t hesitate to call me anytime! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Rin-senpai!” Ai called from the bus stop.

Rin waved one last time as he walked away with Kairi on his hip and the paper bag of ramshackle baby supplies on his shoulder. He used to never think twice about Ai’s talent for optimism no matter the circumstances, but now he wondered. Did he force that attitude to keep out darker themes?

This day had made Rin reconsider many things, and he started to think that maybe he did not know Ai as well as he had thought. Or the exact borders of depression and all that implied.

“This is your fault,” Rin told Kairi.

Kairi gurgled in response. She curled tiny fists into Rin’s shirt though Rin would hardly drop her just walking down the street.

The sun gave up the ghost completely by the time Rin made it to his street, but the stars offered enough light to see the path, and even if they didn’t, Rin knew the way to his own house. Kairi decided midway that she had plenty to say, and she babbled nonsense with the occasional audible sentence thrown in to break up the monotony every now and then. Her inflection rose and dipped as if she spoke passionately about an important issue, and Rin wondered where she picked that up. Her pale pink eyes even widened when she apparently addressed a particularly important point. Rin could not help but chuckle at that.

He eventually figured out that Kairi’s incessant chatter acted as her defense against the inevitable call of sleep. Her eyelids drooped, and her head kept falling against his collarbone, but that only made her talk faster and louder. She kept herself awake as long as she could, and Rin admired her effort.

Nevertheless, when Rin knocked on his front door, Kairi slept against his chest. Her rosy hair a shade lighter than his own tickled his chin.

His mother opened the door and placed a hand over her mouth when she took in the sight of her son and niece. “Oh, Rin,” she said. “I was just about to call. I am so sorry, honey.”

Rin thought he deserved more than just an apology, but he swallowed his resentment and entered the living room. His mother shut the door behind him and took the grocery bag. She peered inside and muffled a gasp of surprise at the contents.

“Thank you so much for taking care of her today. I know that’s not how you wanted to spend your day off,” she said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rin grunted. “Where should I put her?”

“She sleeps in her crib,” his mother directed.

Rin started to ask for a more specific location before he remembered that he had a new roommate. Trying not to feel like a brat, he carted the baby into his own room and gently laid her down in the crib without waking her up.

At least… he tried to.

As simple as it sounded in theory, this turned out to be far more difficult to execute. Rin shifted her body so that he held her head with one hand and her torso with the other. Her arms and legs drooped awkwardly, but Rin quickly lowered her into the crib before she could roll out of his hold completely. Kairi whimpered and threatened to open her eyes, but Rin grabbed a blanket from his own bed and tucked it around her small form.

Kairi curled on her side and settled. Rin tried and failed not to sigh in relief.

He tiptoed out of his room and shut the door with more stealth than he had ever managed in his life. When he returned to the heart of the house, he found his mother sitting at the kitchen table. She sipped from a mug of something hot, and Rin noticed an identical cup in front of the chair across from her.

His mother gestured to the empty seat, and Rin sat down. He propped his elbows on the table and curled his hands around the cup. Warmth from the drink seeped into his hands, and that made him feel a little better even as cold apprehension flitted through his body at the stress on his mother’s face.

“I suppose Gou told you about our situation,” she opened. Her red hair fell in her face despite the clip that attempted to hold back most of it. She looked tired, and Rin suddenly felt guilty.

“Yeah, she told me,” Rin said. “Look, Okaa-san, you don’t have to do this. You can go to bed.”

She breathed out a laugh. “Bed? My sister’s in my bed. I suppose I could go to the couch, and that’s tempting, but I believe it’s more important to talk to my son right now.”

Rin smiled half-heartedly, but her deteriorating mask pained him. “The shock is still fresh now, but she will pull it together eventually, right?”

His mother cocked her head to the side, and her eyebrows furrowed together. “What do you mean?” she questioned.

Rin cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well, her husband left her. Of course she’s a little… depressed now, but that will go away with time… won’t it?”

“Oh, honey,” his mother said, and Rin suddenly felt like he had made a vast miscalculation. “Reishi left Yuki _because_ she was depressed. She’s been like this ever since Kairi was born. Yuki is with us only now because Reishi finally decided he could not be married to a woman who could not bring herself to take care of her own child.”

Rin forgot how to breathe for a moment, and when he recovered his breath, he stared down at his hands as if he did not understand them or anything else in this world. He brought the mug to his lips, and the mechanics of the gesture felt strange and foreign to him. When the frothy hot chocolate flooded his senses, he vaguely remembered that he avoided sweets to keep his strict training and diet regimen, but he quite thought he deserved some comfort food at the moment.

He set the mug back down, and the noise seemed to echo.

“Why would Aunt Yuki become depressed after Kairi was born?” Rin said.

“It’s not uncommon. It’s a condition called post-partum depression that affects women right after the birth of a child. They feel like they can’t be mothers or that they don’t want their child anymore. Medication helps, but Yuki does not want to admit that she has depression at all. I keep offering, but she won’t go with me to see a doctor,” his mother said.

Rin thought back to Kairi’s ignored cries and his aunt’s savage yells, and guilt washed over him all over again.

When Ai mentioned depression, he immediately thought that her husband’s abandonment was the cause. But now that he carefully examined his memories, didn’t Ai say some of the same things that his mother just explained to him?

It was such a strange thing to consider.

Sure, Kairi could be annoying when she cried, but she liked to play. Her eyes lit up when she smiled, and she giggled in a way that made others giggle as well. When she sucked on her bottle, her eyes roamed lazily across her surroundings, and she liked to gently rub the arm of whoever held her at the time.

How could such a small, innocent being invoke depression in another?

“Honey, I am genuinely sorry that this is happening, especially during your third year of high school, but we’re just going to have to work together to get through this, okay?”

When Rin looked up to face his mother, her eyes shined pleadingly, and Rin saw that she had more wrinkles that ever before. He thought she still looked beautiful though.

However, before he could answer, a knock sounded followed by the squeak of the door opening.

“Okaa-san, I’m home!”

Rin raised an eyebrow at his mother. “Why was Gou out so late?”

“Oh, she was with her boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?!” The word left Rin’s mouth more as a shriek than Japanese. He nearly knocked his chair over as he stood up and marched into the living room.

He grit his teeth and clenched his fists, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that his sister was in high school, and it was really normal for her to be dating. Besides that, as Rin studied abroad in Australia and then ignored his family during his first year back, he did not necessarily have the right to screen her boyfriend anyway. Nevertheless, that did not stop him from fuming as he waited for Gou to come inside and reveal the fiend on the doorstep.

When she did sidestep to allow her boyfriend inside, her long ponytail swinging in the lamplight, Rin nearly choked on his own saliva.

“Mikoshiba?!”

“Matsuoka!” Seijuro Mikoshiba greeted boisterously. Even dressed in khaki pants and a collared shirt, he never quite lost that wild, untamed look. His messy orange hair shined with styling gel, but it still retained its crazed shape. “Since when do you come home on the weekends? Don’t tell me you’re slacking off!”

The corner of Rin’s mouth twitched, and he wondered if he should punch Mikoshiba for dating his sister or for implying that he would ever let the team down. Or both.

“I apologize for keeping Gou-san out so late, Matsuoka-san. We lost track of time,” Mikoshiba addressed Rin and Gou’s mother.

Before his mother could forgive him, Rin decided he definitely needed to kill him for both.

Rin started to draw back his fist, but Gou materialized at his side and took hold of his arm. She glared at him fiercely.

“Seijuro-kun and I have been dating for three months now, and you will be nice,” she warned.

Rin growled, but Gou’s fingernails dug into his skin. “Please, Onii-san. I like him,” she said.

Her eyes shined with the same intensity of his mother’s mere moments ago, and Rin relaxed. Once Gou felt the tension leave his muscles, she let go and smiled. “Thank you,” she muttered.

“I’m kicking his ass if he takes one step out of line,” Rin grumbled.

“I would expect nothing less,” Gou responded, still smiling.

While the siblings discreetly fought, their mother thanked Mikoshiba for showing Gou a good time while the house was so chaotic. Mikoshiba boomed that it was no problem at all and asked where the little kid was hiding. Their mother revealed that she was sleeping, and Mikoshiba tried to quiet his voice though that only resulted in him speaking at a normal person’s level.

“I guess I better take off. I’m taking my little bro out for laser tag tomorrow morning,” Mikoshiba quietly shouted.

Their mother smiled, and she looked younger than when a frown marred her features. That convinced Rin more than even Gou’s warning to let Mikoshiba leave without a dent in his face.

Gou went outside to properly say goodbye to Mikoshiba, and Rin tried not to think too deeply about that. When she came back inside, Mikoshiba on his way home, Rin brought his sister into a hug. Gou yelped, and Rin could understand why. They normally weren’t the type of siblings to show much physical affection, but after Kairi and his mom and Ai and now Mikoshiba, Rin felt like this was necessary.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” he whispered in her hair.

Gou squeezed him tight. “Thanks, Onii-san. I know you’re better now, but you should try, too. Happiness, you know.”

When she pulled back, Rin shot her a quizzical look, but Gou glanced at their mother instead. “I’m pretty tired, so I’m going to bed. Before I do, is there anything I need to know about Kairi or Aunt Yuki?”

Rin and his mother exchanged glances, but Rin answered, “No, I think they’re both asleep now. Go on to bed.”

Gou smiled and skipped down the hall. She shut the door to her bedroom behind her. Rin silently wondered when his little sister grew up.

“I’m going to sleep, too. Long day,” his mother sighed. Now that they were just family once again, she seemed to collapse on herself. Her back slumped forward in exhaustion.

“Good night, Okaa-san,” Rin said. He made sure she slipped into her cocoon of blankets on the couch, and then he retreated to his own room.

He had to remind himself to be quiet as he stepped inside and softly shut the door. Whispery breaths told him that Kairi still slept soundly, and he hoped that she stayed that way for the entire night. Then again, if she did wake up crying, he would pick her up and rock her until she slipped back into a slumber. She deserved someone who would do that for her.

Rin fell against his bed that no longer felt like his own. He still held the same dreams that he had back then, but he doubted the little boy who used to stay up late thinking of the Olympics and ways to get there would have ever believed that he would someday share this room with an eight month old.

Kairi needed someone to love her. Rin could see that, but he also saw that he was not the right person for the job. The next night, he would return to Samezuka, and he would orchestrate swim practice and go to class. He could not take care of a child as well even if he did want to lessen the burden on his mother. He did not know what he could do.

Maybe Ai might have an idea. He seemed to have some instinct about these baby things.

Rin thought he might ask him on Monday. He probably shouldn’t bother the kid during the rest of the weekend, but Monday would work.

He fell asleep thinking about what he would say.


	6. Ring Around the Rosie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kou can't compete with Kairi, Makoto, and Haru puppy dog eyes and Rin realizes he has another battle to fight.
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested, sometimes I have little snippets for this story that don't quite mesh with the tone or story line, so I upload them on my Tumblr as extras or in-between chapters. You can check them out at eveismypenname.tumblr.com. Most, I am embarrassed to admit, are based off my real life experiences.

Kou woke up to suspiciously loud bangs coming from the kitchen, and she quickly gave up on the idea of sleeping anymore on this Sunday morning. Once Aunt Yuki and Kairi moved in with them, any kind of quiet sunrise routine went out the window. Aunt Yuki slept until noon, but Kairi often rose before even the fishermen. Her mother took to calling Kairi their alarm clock, usually scowling around the words as she made a bottle at half past five.

When a particularly loud crash echoed through the house, Kou slid out of bed and stretched. She shifted her pastel green pajamas so they covered her again and then left the safety of her room.

Out of habit she barely glanced at Rin’s room when she passed, and she shuffled into the kitchen with a yawn. “Hey, Okaa-san, do we have any more of the raspberry tea? I could use the– What are you doing up?”

Rather than the familiar sight of her mother mixing formula with warm water, Kou paused at the image of her brother attempting to scrape spilled powder back into the formula box. Kairi sat in the kitchen floor with a rattle in one hand and one of Rin’s socks in the other.

Rin turned deadened eyes to her. “She kept waking up during the night. I thought babies were supposed to sleep all the time,” he groaned.

“They do. During the day,” Kou laughed. “Here, let me help.”

Rin willingly stepped back, and Kou took a rag and brushed the formula from the countertop to the trashcan. As expensive as the powder was, Kou did not see the point in trying to salvage the grains. Rin added water to the bottle and shook it up before giving it to Kairi. The baby happily took the nipple in her mouth and even relinquished the sock to Rin.

“Thanks for yesterday. I know it’s not the idea way to spend a weekend, but Okaa-san appreciated the help,” Kou said as she tossed the dirty rag in the sink.

“She looked tired. I’m trying to let her sleep, but I made some noise trying to find the formula… and then dropping the formula when Kairi grabbed at my feet,” Rin admitted.

Kou disguised her giggles by reaching in a cabinet for her stash of flavored tea. She felt pleased to find that there was in fact enough raspberry tea for two cups. She set to making them as she said, “And thank you for backing down about Seijuro-kun. I really do like him, and I want you to get along.”

Rin tensed, but he nodded. “I’m thinking about taking Kairi somewhere today. She ought to have some fun.”

Kou almost pointed out that Rin changed the subject, but she decided to let that matter settle for now. “You had Kairi duty yesterday. I’m taking her to the mall today, and you can take the day off,” she said.

She poured boiling water into the two mugs, and the tea bags floated to the top as a gentle pink colored the water. She handed one to Rin, and he took it gratefully even as he raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Of course,” Kou said. “Kairi and I have… bonded… some. Anyway, I have backup coming if I decide that I can’t handle her.”

Rin looked far from convinced, but he shrugged. She hoped he just knew better than to argue with her by now.

“Why don’t you spend the day with Okaa-san? Maybe you could try to convince Aunt Yuki to see a doctor, too,” Kou suggested.

“I doubt she would want to hear that from me,” Rin grunted.

Kou picked up Kairi from the floor with one arm and propped the child up on her hip. Kairi never stopped drinking her formula, and she seemed frankly unimpressed by everything else. Kou never let go of her tea cup either, and they made a nice match.

“You can be pretty persuasive when you want to be,” Kou teased before she carted Kairi off to Rin’s room. As cute as her drool-stained, red-and-white striped pajamas were, Kou thought she required a bit more for their day in town.

Kou dressed her up in a pink shirt with a lace collar and faded denim overalls. It wasn’t exactly what Kou had in mind, but she thought Kairi made it work with her flouncy red hair and round pink eyes. The chubby cheeks helped, too. Kou restocked her diaper bag, and they were ready to go. Her mother still had not risen from her slumber on the couch, so Kou waved goodbye to Rin and headed out the door.

…

Makoto smiled and waved, and Haru remained as impassive as ever when they picked Kou up from the train station. Thankfully, Kairi cheerfully suckled her bottle and then fell asleep during the trip, and she only lazily blinked her eyes open when Kou jostled her as they stepped on solid ground once again. Kairi threatened to cry at the disruption, but then her eyes settled on Makoto and lit up with recognition.

“How is she?” Makoto greeted, his smile already going soft and sickeningly sweet.

Kou cheerfully handed Kairi over, and Makoto took her in his arms. Sure, she and Kairi got along better than their first meeting, but Kou still did not find her heart overflowing with affection whenever she interacted with her. She would leave that to Makoto.

“She’s great. Thanks for coming with me,” Kou said.

“Like I said, anytime you need help with Kairi, feel free to call us,” Makoto invited. Kairi giggled as Makoto tickled her tummy.

“Don’t volunteer me for things I didn’t agree to,” Haru muttered. Still, even his expression softened as stared at Kairi’s joyful face.

Kou muffled giggles as she watched Haru and Makoto both peer down at Kairi. They looked like a married couple with a child, but then again, they often looked like that. Kairi just completed the picture.

“I thought Kairi might enjoy spending a day at the mall. She could use some new clothes,” Kairi suggested.

“I bet she would like the water fountain, too,” Haru added.

Kou started to scold Haru for bringing his unhealthy obsession with water into everything, but then on second thought, it sounded like a good idea. Anything that sparkled or made noise enchanted Kairi for minutes on end.

“As long as she doesn’t fall in,” Kou sighed.

Makoto looked horrified at the mere thought, but Haru barely blinked. “If she does, I will go in and save her,” Haru promised.

Kou had no doubt about that, and on that note, they left the bus station and went to the mall. Makoto cheerfully held Kairi in his arms, and he took the time to point things out to Kairi. The eight month old liked to repeat anything Makoto said, and the third year found great pleasure in taking advantage of these teachable moments. Haru went along as he always did, and Kou carted the diaper bag.

Shopping for a baby turned out to be far different from shopping for herself as Kou discovered. For one thing, when they entered the first baby store they found, the mothers in the store seemed unsure about whether they should hide their kids from the three teenagers, send them dirty looks for their apparent immorality, or worship their feet for taking care of a child so diligently. Most seemed to favor the first two options, but Kou appreciated those that chose the latter.

“I like this one,” Makoto said. He had wandered to a side of the store that screamed pink in over a hundred shades. He pointed to a frilly dress dripping with sparkles, and Kairi’s eyes widened at the sight. Her chubby fingers reached out…

“I like this one,” Haru said. His hand gestured to a navy blue blouse with a mermaid on the front.

Kou hoped she wasn’t sweating nervously. She had planned to pick up a couple of cute normal outfits for Kairi, but she should have known better when she invited two of the Iwatobi boys along.

“Fis,” Kairi sputtered.

Makoto nearly squealed in his excitement. Up until now Kairi only spoke when he prompted her, and Makoto practically shed tears now that she initiated speaking. “What is it, Kairi-chan?” he encouraged.

“Fis,” Kairi repeated.

When Makoto glanced at Kou, she held her hands up. “I’ve never been able to understand her,” she admitted.

“Fish,” Haru said.

Now that Kou focused, she realized what Kairi saw. A sun dress with a print of dolphins and whales caught her attention, and she stretched out of Makoto’s arms in her attempt to reach it. Both Makoto’s and Kairi’s eyes sparkled, and even Haru seemed euphoric.

Kou sighed. She could resist Kairi’s puppy dog eyes, but when Makoto added his power and then Haru took their side…

They got the dress.

And five times the amount of clothes Kou initially set out to buy. Plus shoes. And accessories.

Makoto and Haru pooled in their money as well, so by the time they stopped for lunch in the food court, their shopping bags took up one side of the booth all on their own. Kou sipped on a smoothie and silently wondered how she would get all these bags on the bus by herself while Makoto fed Kairi French fries that she sucked the salt off and then left in a soggy mess.

Haru stared at the water fountain in the center of the mall.

“We’ll go there next,” Kou assured him.

A sudden ding interrupted their lunch, and Kou pulled her phone out of her pocket. She assumed her mother would be checking up on them, but she tilted her head in confusion to see Rin’s contact pop up. A seed of apprehension growing in her stomach, Kou clicked on the message.

**Keep Kairi out of the house as long as possible. Explain later.**

Kou read the order out loud, and Makoto and Haru exchanged concerned glances. “Maybe you should call him,” Makoto suggested.

Kou shook her head. “If he could have, he would have called in the first place. Something must be happening…”

As she let her sentence trail off, Kou tried not to imagine what scenario kept Rin from calling and explaining yet require them to stay away. She briefly thought about calling the police and sending them to her house, but that would be ridiculous, right? Whatever it was, Rin could handle it.

“Let’s show Kairi the water fountain,” Kou suggested in an overly cheery voice.

No one protested the distraction.

…

Rin planned to let his mother sleep in until noon, but she woke up with a panicked start at ten. She shot straight up and stumbled to her feet, kicking her legs out of the blankets. “Where’s Kairi?” she gasped as she managed to stand upright.

Rin had been sitting in the armchair, and his mouth twisted into a frown. “Okaa-san, calm down. Kou took her out for the day,” he said.

His mother stared at him in bewilderment for a few moments before her breathing evened out, and she sat back down on the couch. She must have lost her clip during the night because her hair fell in red waves to her shoulders, and she had to tuck the wilder strands behind her ears. Her purple pajamas seemed to swallow her up.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I guess I just didn’t know what to think when Kairi didn’t wake me up for a bottle,” she admitted, still sounding dazed.

“She woke me up instead, so I made the bottle. You can relax, Okaa-san,” Rin assured her. He still had half a cup of the tea Kou made him, and he slid the cup across the coffee table.

His mother picked it up gratefully, and she did not even mention that it was now cold. “Thank you, sweetie. I don’t know what I would do without my kids.”

Rin shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he thought of all the times that his mother could only rely on one of her children. At least he planned to help now, but that did not make up for all the times that he let her down in the past.

“I just hope Yuki sleeps late as well. I might can take a quiet bath for once…” His mother seemed delighted at the mere thought, and that broke Rin’s heart.

“Go ahead, Okaa-san. I can manage the house for a bit,” Rin promised.

His mother rose to her feet and started to go down to the bathroom, but a knock on the door stopped her. She and Rin exchanged pained glances, but it could not be helped. She turned around and opened the door instead.

“Keish- Yatogami-kun?” she gasped. Rin watched as her surprise melted into pure aggression, and Rin admired how she made purple pajamas and bedhead terrifying when she turned protective. “What are you doing here?”

As soon as he realized the situation, Rin jumped to his feet and joined his mother’s side. He never particularly liked or disliked his Uncle Keishi in the past, but after the hell he caused his family, after he left his wife because she had depression, Rin clearly declared him as an enemy. He would not leave his mother to face him alone.

Keishi Yatogami was a large man, a solid six inches taller than Rin, and his shoulders rivalled even Makoto. Kou used to say that he seemed like a guy that would protect and take care of you, but now they all saw not everyone with Makoto’s build had the same golden heart. He kept his black hair parted neatly, and he wore his business suit pressed, but Rin still regarded him as less than scum.

“I would like to speak with Yuki,” he said stiffly.

“No way in hell,” his mother cut him off.

Rin tried not to react in surprise. He had never heard his mother curse before, and by Yatogami’s expression, neither had he.

“There are some matters we need to discuss,” Yatogami tried again.

“You revoked your right to discuss matters with Yuki when you left her in a vulnerable state. I suggest you leave my home before I take drastic measures,” his mother warned.

She stood a solid foot and a half shorter than him, but she did not look up to him, and he did not look down to her. His mother would never allow something like that.

Yatogami clenched his fists, and the veins in his hands popped. “What I am trying to say will help Yuki. It’s about Kairi.”

Rin used to live in fear of seeing his mother’s angry face, and now he remembered why. Her magenta eyes lit on fire.

“Kairi? Do you plan to take care of her now? Because if I recall correctly, you did not help with Kairi at all when Yuki needed you to. You turned your back on her and your child,” she snarled.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Yatogami snapped. “Obviously, neither Yuki nor I were prepared to take care of a child. It is not a man’s job, and a man has no use for a woman who cannot care for a child. Which is why I plan to put the entire matter behind us. I will take Kairi to an adoption agency, the divorce will be finalized, and this whole matter will be behind us.”

At this point Rin whipped out his cell phone. His mother took control of the situation and employed expert use of various insults and expletives, but Rin thought of the future. If Yatogami tried to stick around for a while, the last thing they needed was for Kairi to come through the door, prime for the taking.

He texted Gou to keep Kairi as far away as possible for as long as possible. Then he sent another message to another number, and when he finished, he felt comfortable that Kairi would be safe at least.

By this time, his mother nearly lost her breath in the midst of her rant, and Yatogami looked almost angry enough to turn violent. When he lifted his hand, Rin inserted himself between his former uncle and his mother.

“I think you better leave,” Rin hissed.

Yatogami sneered at the sight of a teenage boy daring to stand up to him. He never particularly cared for kids. He bought them presents and went to their events, but he avoided any actual interaction. Rin was not entirely sure they had ever shared a real conversation… at least until now.

“This does not concern children,” Yatogami snarled.

“It concerns my family, so it concerns me. You’re not taking Kairi to a bunch of strangers, and you’re not going to intimidate my mother,” Rin growled.

As his mother currently vibrated with anger, her own hands curling into fists, Rin doubted she found Yatogami intimidating in the slightest, but it was the principle of the thing.

Yatogami glared hard at the Matsuoka family, but Rin faced far more terrifying things in his own mind than this man. He refused to back down or even flinch, and he knew how scary his face could turn when he grew angry. Ai and Momo told him in great detail about this.

“Don’t think I am giving up,” Yatogami spat. “I will deal with this mess soon enough. I have contacted a lawyer, and as Kairi is legally still half mine, I doubt I shall have any problems. Good day.”

Rin’s mother shot forward and slammed the door as soon as Yatogami turned around. Heat flushed her cheeks red, and her hands shook in her anger. “How dare he… The nerve!” she hissed.

“Don’t worry, Okaa-san. No court is going to give Kairi to a man who left the family,” Rin said.

Though she fidgeted with restless energy before, his mother suddenly slumped in exhaustion. “I would hope so,” she said. “I would hope so.”

Rin knew his mother worried over Yatogami’s business prowess, and Rin knew he should be worried as well. Yatogami technically had as much right to Kairi as Yuki did, but Rin did not plan on letting that get in his way.

He would not let Kairi go to a bunch of strangers at an adoption agency. Not now, not ever.


	7. Mary Had a Little Lamb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ai comes to the rescue, and then everyone else does, too.
> 
> Apologies for how late this chapter is. Perhaps ironically, I couldn't write or update because I was taking care of the little one who initially inspired this fic.

Ai technically needed to practice swimming and go to a study group on Sunday, but as soon as Rin sent him a text message, he cancelled all his plans and took a bus to the mall. He broke into his birthday fund to do it, but he knew it would be worth it.

He never tried to deny it to himself even when the other kids made fun of him. Ai would do anything for Rin, and that was simply a part of who he was.

If Rin wanted him to help Gou keep Kairi for longer than she initially intended, then Ai was already on a bus. He arrived at the mall at just before noon, and he glanced at the storefronts in search for long red hair or a crying baby. Even with crowds of teenagers jostling him from all sides in their haste to assault the latest brand name fashions, he thought surely he could find Kairi without having to resort to phoning Rin.

Then again, as Ai reached the end of the mall, he started to have second thoughts. He turned back and started walking the other way in case he missed something.

Sure enough, moments later, he heard the unmistakable call of “Haru! You can’t strip in public!”

Ai recognized Makoto’s voice, and his typical cry, instantly, and if Makoto and Haru were there, surely Gou and Kairi were near as well?

Ai picked up his pace in his rush to the noise, and then he skidded to a stop as he took in the full extent of Makoto’s scolding. A glorious fountain that spurted water into a crystalline pool occupied the center of the mall, and while Kairi cooed at the reflections in the water in Gou’s arms, Makoto desperately kept Haru from pulling down his pants. They were already unbuttoned and unzipped, but thankfully, Ai noticed a familiar black and purple swimsuit underneath.

Nevertheless, Ai noticed several passersby staring with disgusted expressions, and Ai realized with a blush what the scene must look like. Haru, partially undressed and reaching for his pants… Makoto, holding his wrists just away from his crotch…

Ai shook his head, cheeks burning with heat, and forced himself to smile as he approached Iwatobi. “Hello!” he greeted.

Makoto startled and pulled back from Haru, and the shorter boy begrudgingly buttoned his pants. A smile lit up Gou’s face, but their reactions paled to how Kairi bounced and gurgled. Her chubby hands reached out to him, and Gou nearly dropped her as the child struggled out of her arms.

Ai obligingly took Kairi, and the two smiled fondly at the other.

“Nitori-kun, are you shopping today as well?” Makoto asked.

“This is pretty far from Samezuka just to go shopping,” Gou pointed out. Her eyes narrowed, already suspicious of another plan at work.

Ai rubbed the back of his hand with the hand that did not currently hold Kairi to his hip. “Um… Rin sent me actually,” he admitted. “I’m not sure why. He just texted that you had Kairi in the mall and that you might need help.”

Makoto, Haru, and Gou exchanged glances, and it struck Ai that he was the odd man out by being from Samezuka. He tried not to let that get to him because he genuinely enjoyed Rin’s old friends. Besides, he was here on a favor to Rin, and he would do anything for both him and sweet little Kairi. As if to remind himself of this, Ai gave her a little bounce, and she giggled.

“Rin sent me a text message that told us to keep Kairi out of the house as long as possible,” Gou told him. “Did he mention why when he talked to you?”

Ai shook his head as he bit his lip. He aligned the two messages and noted that Rin wanted him to help Gou keep Kairi during the extra time, but he could not imagine why Kairi could not go back to the house. Unless…

“Is it your aunt?” Ai asked.

Now that the danger of Haru revealing his abs to the world and therefore getting arrested was temporarily removed, Makoto focused completely on the conversation, and he frowned. “Your aunt?” he questioned Gou.

The girl shrugged, but her face expression revealed how great a possibility this might be. “She has not been well since Kairi was born,” Gou admitted. “I did not think it would get bad enough that Kairi couldn’t come home though.”

Ai wondered if they should call the police, but he feared voicing the solution aloud. When he contacted the authorities as a little boy in middle school, the situation had only grown worse… Then again, Ai needed to stop comparing Rin’s dilemma with his own. They weren’t the same, and Ai told himself that once again.

Nevertheless… As Ai gazed at Kairi’s pink eyes, lit up as they once again noticed the water fountain, he knew he would do anything to protect her… Even if it did mean calling the police.

“Rin will tell us when he can. For now we should let Kairi have a good time,” Haru said.

Ai smiled gratefully at Haru, and Makoto and Gou softened in turn. Haru did not speak up often, but Ai was beginning to learn that when he did, the words were meaningful.

They all pooled their money – from allowances, jobs, or birthday funds – and they paid to let Kairi ride one of the animatronic machines outside the pizza place in the mall. Makoto held her, and Kairi trilled as she bounced on the slowly rocking plastic carnival horse.

Gou carted Kairi into a photo booth, and they took cousinly pictures to show their mothers later. Haru, Makoto, and Ai waited outside the booth and watched the screen as the four photos snapped. The first showed Gou smiling picturesquely while Kairi observed the camera with obvious suspicion. Second, a still smiling Gou while Kairi turned her attention to Gou’s ponytail. Third, Kairi pulling at her ponytail and Gou’s expression melting from cheer to shock. Fourth, Kairi giggling ecstatically, ponytail still in hand, while Gou yelped in pain.

Gou happily handed Kairi over to Haru after they escaped the booth.

Ai suggested they go to an arcade where Makoto surprisingly annihilated them all. He beat the high score on every shooting game he played, and he never missed the hoop when he tried the basketball game. Haru noticeably averted his eyes and scowled at this, and Ai silently wondered why.

Kairi liked pulling the lever on the games of chance, and they wasted plenty of dollars and then coins on this pleasure of hers. Gou mastered a car racing game, and Haru somehow managed to win a stuffed dolphin from a crane machine on the first try. He gave it to Kairi, and she hugged it tight around the middle.

When they came across an electric mini golf arena, Kairi pointed and cooed, “Pway! Pway!”

Makoto and Gou took her in the darkly-lit room, but Haru hung back. He claimed exhaustion and decided to sit on a bench outside the doorway instead. Makoto seemed to understand, and he nodded as he assured him that they would be out after one round. Feeling a bit weary himself, Ai volunteered to stay behind with Haru.

As they sat on the bench, watching as people of all ages and dress shuffled from store to store, Ai realized his own miscalculations. Though he did not want to leave Haru out here by himself, he had never actually been alone with Haru before. He really only knew the Iwatobi boy as Rin’s friend, Rin’s rival, Rin’s idol. He barely acknowledged him as an entity separate of Rin.

Today showed him otherwise though. Haru was quiet but attentive, and he doted on Kairi in a subtle way. He and Makoto spoke without ever exchanging words, and he went along with their whims even when he would probably rather be doing something else.

Ai respected that, but he still had no idea how to speak to him.

“Kairi really liked the stuffed dolphin,” Ai chattered. “I don’t think she has a ton of toys, so that probably meant a lot to her. And you got it on the first try! That’s almost impossible! Momo-kun tried to win a stuffed otter for Gou-san at a crane machine, and he spent a month’s worth of allowance without even coming close.”

“It’s not hard. You aim for the one that wants to be free,” he said. Haru did not look embarrassed at the corniness of his statement but only continued observing those around them.

“I guess I can pass that on to Momo-kun,” Ai said.

They sat in a few moments of silence, and Ai tried not to squirm uncomfortably. He wished he could just enjoy the peace and quiet, but he still felt relief when Haru spoke again.

“Has Rin been… okay?”

Ai could see how awkward Haru felt in asking this of him, but he also admired how the other boy cared about Rin’s feelings. Rin had been much happier since he made up with the Iwatobi boys, and even if Ai felt inadequate and useless that he could not help Rin by himself, he was happy that his senpai had found peace and happiness.

“He’s been much better,” Ai assured him. “He still works harder than anyone, but now it’s because he wants to, not because he feels like he has to.”

Haru nodded, and he seemed satisfied with the answer.

“Thank you… for being with him. You were there when we couldn’t be, so… thank you,” Haru said, practically a whisper.

Ai gaped, and he had to remind himself to close his mouth. How could Haru say something like that about him when he was clearly only a speck in the universe of Rin Matsuoka in comparison to him? Haru, Makoto, and Nagisa were the ones who finally helped Rin rise from his slump. Ai hadn’t been able to do anything…

“He messaged you today because he trusts you,” Haru said as if he guessed Ai’s frantic thoughts. “They’re coming.”

It took a moment for Ai to realize that Haru’s last sentence referred to Makoto, Gou, and Kairi. Gou collapsed on the bench between them, and Makoto held a sleeping Kairi to his chest.

“She ran around and kept pointing at the neon lights. Then she fell asleep at the fourth hole,” Makoto explained.

“I wonder if it’s safe to take her home yet,” Gou mused.

Ai took out his phone to check the time, but instead, he read a text message from Rin.

“Rin’s on his way here… No, wait, he sent the message twenty minutes ago. He’s probably here by now,” Ai realized. He glanced around the mall as if he expected Rin to materialize right in front of them.

Gou giggled, and she tried to cover the laughter with her hand which only made it more obvious. “Come on,” she invited as she rose to her feet. “I know where he is.”

…

Once Reishi left and Rin calmed his mother down, he took a bus down to the mall. The confrontation with his former uncle rendered him shaken but also burning with rage. The sensation reminded him of his dark years in which his lived in a constant darkness that swarmed him with despair, but this was different. He had a target and something solid to protect.

His fingers still trembled with his anger, but he could at least think clearly through his emotions. When he reached the mall, he immediately went to a smoothie shop that made the best protein shake in all of Japan. He needed something to soothe him.

Rin barely paid for his drink and sat down at a booth before Gou slid into the slot across from him. “I knew you would be here,” she gloated cheekily.

Haru sat next to Gou, and Ai took a seat next to Rin. Makoto pulled up a chair on the end with Kairi cradled in his arms. Her lips pouted in a deep sleep, her eyelids gentle in the dim light.

Rin greeted his two childhood friends and then focused on Gou. “I didn’t know Haru and Makoto were with you,” he said.

Gou shrugged. “Kairi is a lot to handle for one person. So thanks for sending Nitori-kun as well.”

Ai blushed, and Rin looked at him fondly. “Sorry for calling on you twice in two days,” he muttered.

“I didn’t mind,” Ai assured him in an equally quiet voice.

“Is something going on, Rin?” Makoto asked, pulling them both back to the situation at hand.

Rin cleared his throat, and he regarded everyone at the booth with a somber expression. As much as he wanted to forget about what they now faced, he could not allow himself to indulge in such a luxury. He needed the help of his friends, and they had a right to know. They loved Kairi, too.

“My uncle, Reishi Yatogami, came by today,” Rin revealed.

Gou gasped with wide eyes, and Makoto startled. Haru’s eyebrows lifted which spoke volumes from him. Ai worriedly glanced at Kairi before returning his gaze to Rin, desperate to catch every word.

Rin summarized everything that Reishi said, and he noticed how they all tensed as he continued further into his story. By the time he finished, they all revealed their anger in subtle but noticeable ways. Even Haru’s expression darkened.

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” Rin concluded. “But I think it would be best if we kept Kairi away from the house for the next few days. I don’t know how serious Reishi was about his threats, but I don’t want to risk anything. I’d like her to be where Reishi doesn’t know where she is.”

“Haru and I will keep her whenever you need us to. We’ll take her to an aquarium or to the swim club,” Makoto volunteered. Haru nodded to show that he consented even though Makoto spoke for both of them.

Rin’s expression softened into gratitude. “Thanks, guys.”

“I’m sure Rei and Nagisa will watch her some, too,” Gou proposed.

“And you know you can always call on me,” Ai promised.

Kairi slept soundly through their entire discussion. She stayed completely oblivious to the fact that a small army was building around her.


	8. Hickory Dickory Dock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Iwatobi and Samezuka boys work together to protect Kairi.
> 
> Or the one in which everyone is domestic as fuck.

Rei first knew something was wrong when he entered his homeroom class and found it quiet. As a scholarly soul who thrived in peace, this did not bother him necessarily, but the situation was unusual. Then he glanced at the desk two seats behind him and one seat to the right, and he realized what set off his senses.

Nagisa was not there.

Even this was not entirely unusual as Rei thought when he sat down in his own desk. Nagisa was late or absent plenty, but he always sent Rei a bombardment of text messages to inform of this and usually to guilt Rei into offering a little sympathy or attention.

Rei secretly glanced at his phone, but no messages.

The first bell rang, and class began, and Rei tried to ignore how he fidgeted in his own seat. As much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn’t get Nagisa’s mysterious absence out of his head. Horrendous scenarios flashed through his head like a horror movie montage, and Rei wondered how he would ever get through the day like this.

Each class ended up the same. Rei noted Nagisa’s continuous absence, collected his assignments, and then listened to the lecture in agony until the next bell.

When school finally ended, Rei raced to the swimming pool, and he panted far too heavily for a former track star when he finally faced Makoto and Haru. The two third years stared at him in bewilderment as Rei struggled to find his breath.

“Nagisa… not here. Have you… heard?” Rei gasped.

Makoto and Haru exchanged glances, but Makoto was the one to respond. “Nagisa wasn’t at school today?” he questioned.

So even his childhood friends did not know. Rei’s body vibrated with pent-up energy, and even though they were supposed to practice sprints today, Rei could not live with his own ignorance any longer. He muttered an explanation to Makoto and Haru and then scrambled away from Iwatobi. He ran all the way to Nagisa’s house.

If phones and peers did not bring him an answer, then Rei had to find out the answer for himself. Rei knocked politely, and when Nagisa’s mother answered the door, he made small talk until she invited Rei to come inside and go back to Nagisa’s room.

Relieved that Nagisa was at least not in dire medical condition, Rei opened Nagisa’s door only to find the blond boy on his floor with none other than Kairi in his lap.

“Hey, Rei-chan!” Nagisa greeted exuberantly as soon as he noticed his classmate in his room. “Nice of you to join us! Kairi-chan and I were just practicing her walking.”

Rei’s eyebrow twitched as he stared in shock. All of his anxiety and panic melted away, and he no longer knew how to react to anything. Finally, he said, “The average baby does not walk begin walking until eleven months.”

“Yeah, but Kairi-chan is special,” Nagisa refuted.

Kairi grasped one of Nagisa’s thumbs with each of her hands, and Nagisa gently helped her onto her feet. While Kairi kept a death grip on him, she tentatively put a socked foot out in front of the other. Then again. And again. Then Nagisa ran out of arm length, and Kairi fell on her bottom. She did not seem to mind and started crawling across the rug to Nagisa’s bookshelf which mostly held figures.

Finally, Rei’s synapses started to fire again, and he connected his thoughts into something coherent. “Why weren’t you at school today? Why do you have Rin’s cousin?” he questioned.

“Kairi and I spent the whole day together,” Nagisa gushed. “Okaa-san cooked us meals and changed her diaper, but I’ve been playing with her. Rin-chan asked me to keep her today, and Makoto and Haru are keeping her tomorrow. Didn’t they tell you?”

Rei thought back to how he exited the swimming pool in a cloud of dust while Makoto was still trying to communicate with him, and he realized he had made a mistake.

“Kairi-chan’s mean old dad is trying to take her back, so Rin wants us to keep her away from the house for a while. Hey, let’s take Kairi-chan to a candy shop!” Nagisa cheered, jumping to his feet.

The plastic figure of an anime protagonist in her mouth, Kairi sat back on her rear and peered up at Nagisa with big curious eyes. Nagisa picked her up and started to skip out the door before Rei blocked the way.

“We can’t take an eight-month-old to a candy store! That’s not nutritious,” Rei argued. He had processed a lot of information in a short amount of time, but he knew that much.

“Then where should we take her?” Nagisa whined. “Oooh, a video game store!”

Rei then launched into a long rant about how violent images badly influenced young children. When Nagisa brought up his next suggestion, Rei quickly shot that down as well. They argued so long that Kairi slipped down from Nagisa’s arms and crawled back to his figure collection. The sun fell, and Nagisa’s room grew darker. By the time they agreed on an aquarium, it was too late to go anywhere at all.

“We can always watch a movie,” Nagisa finally relented.

“Something educational,” Rei amended.

Rei and Nagisa moved to the couch in the living room, and Kairi curled up in between them. They watched some animated show about saving the world with math that enchanted Nagisa as much as Kairi, and Nagisa’s mother brought them snacks.

…

Sousuke stared at Kairi.

Kairi stared at Sousuke.

Sousuke stared at Kairi.

Kairi stared at Sousuke.

Sousuke st-

“Sousuke, she’s not going to bite you. Just pick her up and bring her to me,” Rin ordered.

As much as Rin wanted to keep Kairi as far away from his house as possible, he could not suddenly shirk swim practice. He was the captain, and his team was his responsibility. So as a compromise, Rin laid out a blanket in the far corner of the indoor pool and built a fence of towels around it. He placed Kairi in the middle with a bottle and scattering of toys.

Surely, if the towels did not keep her caged inside, one of the many expert swimmers could catch her before she fell into the water.

Rin managed to direct practice as usual, but when Kairi started to fuss and plead for attention from her corner, Rin asked Sousuke to go and bring her to him. The request seemed simple at the time, but five minutes later found Sousuke crouched in front of the baby as if he did not know what to do next.

“Senpai, I’ll help! I’m great with kids!” Momo exclaimed, barreling up to the silent pair. He just finished his laps, and water dripped off his body as he slid beside them. He threw out his arms to Kairi, and her eyes widened with clear uncertainty.

“Umm… Maybe I should take her, Momo-kun,” Ai suggested. As soon as the second year noticed Momo’s path to the baby, he felt the need to intervene. He was technically supposed to be timing the fifth lane, but Rin couldn’t scold him for saving his cousin from Momo’s enthusiasm.

Sousuke cleared his throat and made awkward gestures in Kairi’s direction. “I can handle this, so you can go back to practice,” he proposed bravely.

Momo, Ai, and even Kairi shot him skeptical looks.

They might have argued further, but Kairi cried, “Ai!” and held her arms out to Ai, so the other two bowed their heads in defeat. Ai happily picked her up, and Kairi played with the goggles around his neck.

Rin mentally made a note to mark Sousuke and Momo off his list of people to call in order to keep Kairi out of the house.

…

When Seijuro asked her on a date, somehow Kou did not picture it going like this. They were in a nice restaurant. They did not often splurge in this way, but Seijuro insisted that they celebrate their four month anniversary just because they could. Candles lit the expansive room rather than artificial light, and lacy tablecloths provided the landscape for their fine glass salad plates and cups with… well, soda.

Fine music drifted over the speakers, and waiters came at a constant for refills and to question if they needed anything more.

Kou wore a nice pink dress, and her sweet boyfriend sat across from her in something that was not a speedo or hoodie. She could hardly ask for more… except to possibly not have this eight month old baby in her lap.

At least Seijuro was ecstatic.

“I love kids,” he exclaimed, his elbow dangerously close to knocking over his glass in his excitement. “They’re so hyperactive and cute.”

“Yeah,” Kou half-heartedly agreed. A cold sweat trickled down her neck.

Kairi voiced her own sounds of consent as she pounded her tiny fists on the table. An elderly couple at the next table stared at them with disgust, and Kou was torn between wanting to explain that this was not her child and wanting to express how rude they were being even if Kairi was her child.

“I want enough kids that they can form their own swim team,” Seijuro laughed.

The waiter came and took their orders – Kou asked for macaroni and cheese for Kairi – and Seijuro started talking about one of his coworkers after the waiter left, so Kou never got to ask if he was joking or not on the swim team of kids thing.

…

“Haru, where is Kairi’s bottle?”

“There’s a fresh one in the fridge.”

Haru flipped a piece of mackerel in the frying pan and lowered the temperature on the stove. A bubble of grease popped, but his apron kept the spewing droplets from staining his clothes. Behind him, he heard Makoto enter the kitchen and open the fridge door.

“Oh, here it is,” he said, turning a smile in Haru’s direction. “Thanks.”

“Is she cranky?” Haru inquired.

Makoto shook his head. “Not really. She’s just tired. We have been playing with her blocks for a while.”

“And her puzzle before that,” Haru agreed. “This will be ready in about ten minutes. I have mashed potatoes for Kairi.”

“She’ll love that. If she’s still awake by then, that is,” Makoto said.

The taller boy left the kitchen, and Haru listened to the familiar noises of Makoto picking up Kairi and sitting down in a chair. No doubt, Makoto now shifted her in his lap and teased her lips with the bottle until she latched ahold. Haru had already heard the same procession twice today.

Since Nagisa already skipped school once and Rin’s mother took her to town another day, Makoto volunteered him and Haru to miss school next. They spent the entire day at Haru’s house since Makoto’s home tended to be loud. Haru cooked breakfast, lunch, and now dinner, and Makoto played every kind of game with Kairi. Haru turned out to be surprisingly apt at changing diapers.

It wasn’t swimming, but Haru supposed it was a good day.

Makoto certainly seemed to glow, but he always had gained satisfaction from taking care of others. In turn, Kairi adored him.

Kairi seemed unsure about Haru, but that suited him fine.

Haru put a piece of mackerel on each plate and complemented the meet with rice and vegetables. He set the plates on the table along with a smaller dish filled with mashed potatoes. Haru searched the internet for things Kairi could eat, and that seemed the best option.

Once Haru called for them, Makoto carted Kairi back into the kitchen, her eyelids drooping as indication of her exhaustion.

Makoto sat at the table, Kairi in his lap, and Haru took his place across from them. Makoto managed to feed Kairi two bites before she promptly slipped into sleep.

“I’m sorry,” Makoto apologized sheepishly as he shifted Kairi into a comfortable cradle position in his arms.

“Why?” Haru questioned between bites.

“You worked so hard, and she barely ate,” Makoto clarified. As if to make up for Kairi’s downfall, he consumed his own portion thankfully.

Haru shrugged. “She was tired,” he dismissed. “She can sleep on my bed.”

“I’ll hold her for now but maybe in a bit,” Makoto agreed. “Thank you for the meal.”

Once again, Haru shrugged off Makoto’s words, but they ate in comfortable silence. When they finished, Makoto tucked Kairi into Haru’s bed, and Makoto washed the dishes while Haru dried. Afterward, they sipped green tea until Rin came to pick Kairi up.

Rin just barely managed to reign in his comments relating to ‘married’ and ‘domestic as fuck.’

…

Rin skipped school the next day to keep Kairi, and Ai volunteered to go with them. After Rin already sent Ai on countless Kairi-related errands, he hesitated to ask this as well, but Ai insisted, and he could be surprisingly stubborn at times. Also, Ai admitted that he was not prepared for his English test that day, but Rin suspected that was only an excuse.

They took Kairi to an aquarium for something to do, and the little girl pointed to everything that caught her interest which turned out to be anything that moved in the water. She giggled at the dolphins and cooed at the penguins. When they reached the shark tank, she laughed so loud that she almost shrieked. Ai giggled along with her.

They pushed her around in one of the customary strollers that amusement parks like this provided, and Ai fluttered around them to point out every new attraction to Kairi as if she wouldn’t spot them herself.

Lunch brought them to a sponsored concession stand, and though the food was overly-priced, Rin paid for them all even though Ai protested.

They spent the afternoon attending various shows. Whales, seals, and walruses paraded before them throughout the hours. Kairi napped during a lecture about ocean pollution, but she perked up again when they reached the octopus tank. Kairi made funny faces from her stroller, and Ai played along. Rin smiled in amusement as he leaned on the back of the stroller.

“What an adorable little girl!”

Something about a baby attracted old ladies like Haru to water. Rin learned this on his first day with Kairi, and he braced himself for another session of cooing and ogling. The elderly woman shuffled over to them and peered down at Kairi before glancing up with a smile.

“You three make such a sweet family,” she purred.

Rin blushed a color to rival his hair, and beside him, Ai sputtered and squeaked. “We, uh, we’re not,” Rin stammered as he pointed between them. “We’re not a couple.”

“Is that so? What a shame.” The lady toddled off with a wry smirk on her face.

The heat in Rin’s cheeks lingered, and he could not quite look Ai in the eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck. Ai seemed flustered and on edge all at once, and he fluttered around Kairi’s stroller.

“Let’s go to a park,” Rin suggested. Fresh air sounded good for both of them, and Ai agreed.

The summer heat slid into the balmy quiet of twilight, and cherry blossoms danced against the amethyst sky. Rin and Ai strolled down the sidewalk with Kairi in Ai’s arms, and when they reached the park, Ai skipped to the swingset. He put Kairi in one of the swings, and keeping a tight hold on her waist, gently rocked her.

As he watched them, Rin could see what the old lady meant. Ai was not a typical heartthrob. He wore khaki shorts and a pink collared shirt, but he smiled like he could want for nothing more in the world.

He was cute. They would be cute together.

“So this is where you have been hiding her.”

The warmth in Rin’s heart froze to ice as Rin turned to meet the deadened eyes of his uncle.

“Reishi.”


	9. Humpty Dumpty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ai saves the day.

“I am her father. It’s my right to see her,” Reishi said. He wore his usual suit and tie, but he looked like the villain in an anime rather than the successful man Rin used to see. His eyes gleamed in the dying light of the sun, and the flaming sky seemed to reveal his demeanor more than his words or clothing ever could.

“You gave up that right when you abandoned her,” Rin growled. He felt the surge of familiar anger. The oily darkness rose from his depths and crept through his veins. His mind clouded, and his body suddenly seemed like a distant, foreign thing.

The anger used to latch onto him and drive him every time he saw Haru. Rin would fight the driving force that kept his senses captive, but now he embraced the emotion for what it was: power.

Reishi glared at Rin, but he did not step back or soften as Rin intended. Rather, he matched his rage with a cold fury that would have scared Rin if he wasn’t already so far gone in his tirade.

“These are not high school games, Rin. What do you care about Kairi? Don’t you have college applications to worry about?” His lips quirked into a wry smirk. “Didn’t you plan to go to the Olympics? Don’t let a domestic dispute that’s none of your business distract you.”

Just as Reishi likely intended, the words stole Rin’s breath as if they had lodged themselves in his lungs. He thought of the rippling pools in Australia where he planned to swim alongside the best competitors in the entire world, not just in this Japanese district. He wanted to reach as far as he possibly could, and as Reishi viciously pointed out, he could not do that if he allowed anything to deter his gaze from his goal.

Of course, that sort of thinking isolated him and made him cruel. That exact thought process turned his friends into enemies, and if he let himself spiral into that darkness again, Rin might never surface.

He clawed his way out of such despair last year with the help of his friends, and he would be insulting them if he let himself give in to this rose-tinted trickery once again. He was far too strong to let Reishi misdirect him with feeble excuses like these.

Besides, Kairi was his cousin, and he loved her. They all loved her.

“Rin-senpai?”

Rin glanced back to see Ai tentatively walking toward him. He held Kairi on his hip, and the protective curl of his fingers told him that Ai would never give up the baby to her father. Even as Ai stood at Rin’s side, his gentle expression steeled itself into something powerful. He only ever looked that determined when he stood at the block before a race, and Rin suddenly remembered that perseverance and hard work made Ai a great swimmer, not natural talent.

“You should leave, Reishi. We will take Kairi home,” Rin said, his voice carefully devoid of anger. The rage still buzzed just below the surface, but he wanted to show Ai that he could be strong, too.

He did not know how much Ai heard of the conversation, but if he listened to Reishi’s taunt and Rin’s resulting silence, he needed to realize that Rin never intended to fall for such a trap. He really had changed, and Rin owed a large part of that to Ai himself.

When Ai turned round eyes, wide with shock but glittering with pride, to him, Rin knew he had done right.

However, the meaning of the moment paled when Reishi’s razor-edged voice cut through them. “I should leave? You will take Kairi home?” he hissed. “I will take Kairi home because I am her father and her home is with me! You’re a fool, Rin. You think you know what is right, but you’re still just a kid. You don’t know anything at all.”

Ai’s mouth parted, and that was the last Rin saw before he faced his uncle. He took two purposeful steps forward, and he allowed his anger to radiate through his blood. He knew just how terrifying he could look when he let his fury show.

“I know enough to know what is right and what is wrong,” Rin growled.

Reishi curled his fists, and he matched Rin’s two steps. He suddenly seemed much taller than the few inches he had on Rin, but that didn’t bother him. Size did not necessarily mean strength, and Rin worked out every single day. If this came to a fight, and Rin was starting to think that it would, then Rin felt almost certain he could beat him.

“I am what is right, and I will tell you this right now, Rin. If you don’t give me Kairi now, I will make things far uglier for you, your family-” Reishi made a point of letting his gaze linger on Ai here. “And your friends.”

Rin had kept a good handle on his emotions up until this point, but now he breathed fire as he felt almost strangled with his desire to destroy. Reishi could insult him all he wanted, and his threats bothered him as much as the harmless sakura blossoms that landed on his shoulders, but he crossed a line when he brought his family and his friends into this.

A fight seemed almost the best option only a moment before, but now Rin hesitated, and he at least felt proud that he could think this clearly in the throes of his rage. Ai and Kairi were here as well, and Reishi might be desperate enough to hurt them if he managed to get Rin out of the way even for a second.

No matter how he looked at it, any move Rin made here was a risk as long as Ai and Kairi stayed with him.

“Ai,” Rin muttered so only the second year could hear him. Reishi was still far enough away to be out of earshot, especially when he whispered only loud enough for Ai’s ears. “Leave with Kairi right now.”

“I can’t leave you, Rin-senpai,” Ai murmured back.

A sharp stab of annoyance hit him as Rin hissed, “Don’t be an idiot. You need to take care of Kairi first, and there’s nothing you can do anyway.”

“No, you don’t understand. I think he has a knife.”

Rin’s eyes widened, but as soon as Ai voiced the words, Rin noticed the way that Reishi had one hand in his pocket even as he kept one in a fist. He should have realized immediately, but he had let himself focus on too many other things.

He needed to get them all out of this situation immediately.

“Get you and Kairi far away from here,” Rin ordered under his breath.

Rin turned away before he could judge Ai’s expression or body language, and he focused on Reishi. Now aware of the blade that occupied Reishi’s right hand, Rin reevaluated his previous assumptions. Could he still win in a fight? Rin had plenty of experience with just his fists, but no one had ever pulled a knife on him before. If he managed to survive, could he take Reishi down with criminal charges?

That alone might be worth it. Surely, an eight-month-old could not go to a father in prison.

“Rin, this is your last chance to make the right decision,” Reishi warned. His cold eyes surveyed the three players in front of him, and Rin suspected he saw this as no different from one of his business encounters.

Rin would not let him reduce Kairi to only profit and gain.

“I am making the right choice,” Rin hissed before he lunged forward.

He knew to expect the sweeping of Reishi’s hand with the knife, and he ducked accordingly, but Reishi adapted quickly as well. When the knife did not slice Rin’s skin as planned, he cuffed him with his fist, and Rin stumbled. Nevertheless, Rin knew how to take a hit, and he trained relentlessly every day. He recovered and came back with a counterattack almost instantly.

Rin never doubted that he could fight Reishi, but at least fifty percent of his mind constantly had to keep track of the blade, and that left less of him to focus on the physical aggression.

The sensation of bruises blooming across his body and heated pain scouring his skin enveloped him, and he had no idea whether he was winning or losing. Only that he must continue fighting in order to protect Ai and Kairi.

Rin should have known better than to think pure force of will would be enough to let him triumph.

A burst of brute force landed him on the ground, and the heel of a shoe pressed into his wrist before he could rise again. Rin hissed out a sharp breath, but what could he say in the face of the blade filling his vision?

“Stop!”

The blade hesitated. Rin wanted to beat Ai himself for not running when he told him to do so.

“Kid, you would be wise to leave the baby on the ground and leave. You do not want to get involved.”

Reishi’s deadened voice felt like a razor against Rin’s nerves at the best of times, but to hear him speak to Ai in that way was so much worse. He wanted to throw another punch, and the fact that he physically could not only angered Rin more. He wished he could see Ai from this position to speak to him with his eyes even if his words had not worked before.

“I have the police dialed right now, and it will only take one press of my finger to call them. I am a witness that will report how you attacked a minor with a blade. No matter how high-standing you are in the world, the media loves a scandal.”

Rin’s eyes widened, and even as his breaths evened out, shock replaced his adrenaline. Now he desperately needed to see Ai’s face, but he could not turn around without breaking his wrist against Reishi’s shoe.

His voice… He sounded so in control. Rin remembered the barely suppressed panic in his shaky words when Ai used to attempt to placate Rin during his bouts of anger last year, but never once, did he employ such a tone of power and control. While Rin had no doubt that Ai really did have 9-1-1 emblazoned across his phone screen, he still marveled at Ai’s confidence that Reishi would listen to him.

“The minor attacked me first,” Reishi said, but already, he sounded just a second slower than normal.

“Do you think that matters to the police when you had a weapon and he did not?” Ai challenged. “If you leave now, we won’t press charges.”

Rin felt the tension in the place where Reishi’s heel pinned his wrist and in the silence that suffocated them. He wondered if Ai’s appearance of confidence wavered now or if he remained strong in the face of Reishi’s ire. Most of all, he tried to imagine where Ai learned such perseverance in an environment of violence.

Finally, Reishi lifted his foot, and Rin instantly leaped to his feet, cradling his arm. Though he readied himself for another fight, Reishi already took a step back. “I will see you again,” Reishi promised.

Neither Rin nor Ai moved until Reishi completely disappeared from their sight. Only then did Rin turn around to finally survey the tiny boy with the baby in his arms who stood up to his uncle.

Ai’s left hand, the one with the phone posed in its fingers, trembled.

“I told you to run,” Rin said even though that was not the sentence he meant to voice.

“I didn’t think it would be a good idea to leave you alone with him. They act differently when there are no witnesses,” Ai said. He turned to rest his chin on Kairi’s head, and he looked so vulnerable and lost in such a position that the last of Rin’s fight fled from his body.

He tilted his head in the direction of his house. “Let’s go home,” he offered. “It’s too late for you to take a bus back to Samezuka. Just stay the night here.”

Ai hesitated, but he eventually nodded. Rin already started walking in that direction, for he did not really intend to give Ai a choice in the matter.

Once Ai caught up and they both relaxed into a comfortable walking pace, Kairi rested her head against Ai’s shoulder, and her eyes fluttered close. The sun dipped behind the horizon sometime during the confrontation, and now only streetlamps and stars lit their way home. Rin never felt nervous walking alone at night, but he wondered if Ai did. He was so small, and even if he worked out every day, he never reached the weights that everyone else did.

Nevertheless, Ai stood up to Reishi with only a cell phone.

“Thank you… for back there. I’m not sure what I would have done without your help,” Rin admitted, rubbing the back of his head.

A soft smile took over Ai’s lips, and he looked pale and angelic in the dim lighting. “You would have figured something out. But it’s nice to end those sorts of things before they get too bad.”

Ai turned his attention back to Kairi’s sleeping face, but Rin’s gaze lingered on the other boy. The way he spoke, the precise wording of his message, made it sound like Ai pulled from experience, and that bothered Rin in a way even Reishi could not manage. He knew that he had slipped into violence and even cruelty last year, but he did not think he had reached so far that he taught Ai of self-preservation. Yet the other option was even worse.

“Ai…” Rin hesitated, but he forced himself to continue, “The way you used your phone, the way you turned his own actions against him… How did you know that would work?”

“Oh, well, when the situation ceases to be profitable for them, they usually back off,” Ai replied vaguely. He carefully averted his azure eyes from Rin’s piercing glare, but Rin did not waver.

“And how would you know?” Rin persisted. “Come on, Ai, has someone been giving you trouble at school or something? I’ll kick their ass. If you tell anyone on the swim team, they will all kick their-“

“No, no, no, it’s nothing like that!” Ai assured him, one arm waving frantically while the other held Kairi tight.

When Ai clearly saw that Rin was not backing down, he sighed. “I told you that my mother had depression. Well, it first started because… well, because my father could be a bit abusive at times.”

Rin’s sharp intake of breath must have alerted Ai to his shock and rage because he frantically added, “It’s not so bad anymore! I chose a boarding school to get away from all that, and I never really go home, so it’s not a problem. He barely touches my mother. It was usually just me, so as long as I’m not there, everything is fine!”

“Nothing is fine about that,” Rin growled. “Why didn’t you ever report him? Ai, you should have told someone!”

“I’m telling someone now,” Ai muttered. “It’s a bit embarrassing to be honest, and I don’t like talking about it. I found my own solution, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Please don’t make a big deal out of this now.”

Rin wanted nothing more than to make a big deal out of it. The idea of anyone laying a harmful hand on such a small boy with the most innocent face made him want to rip someone’s vocal cords out. Still, violence would hardly solve anything in regard to Ai, and he wanted to make Ai feel better, not put him on edge.

So as they walked the rest of the way home in companionable silence, Rin slipped his hand into Ai’s. Ai squeezed his fingers, and Kairi mewed in her sleep.


	10. Star Light, Star Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is purely self indulgent fluff.

By the time the three of them reached Rin’s home, only the stars sparkled above their heads. Rin did not notice when the night fell, but his confrontation with Reishi must have taken longer than he originally expected. Adrenaline had a way of altering reality.

He opened the front door and gestured for Ai to walk inside. The shorter boy hesitated, and the tension in his shoulders gave away how nervous he felt. Rin supposed it was his first time going to his home, but there was no reason for Ai to act so scared.

“Hey, Mom won’t mind you staying,” Rin assured him as he shut the door behind them. He locked it as well with Reishi still in his thoughts.

Ai rubbed Kairi’s back absentmindedly. She fell asleep ten minutes ago to the gentle sway of Ai’s gait. “I know, but-”

“Would it have killed you to call?! Where the hell have you been? Rin Matsuoka, I-! Oh, hello, welcome to our home.”

Rin sighed and rubbed his temple. Ai stared in wide-eyed amazement.

At the sound of the door or possibly their voices, Rin’s mother slid into the living room in her pajamas. She had her hair thrown up and her reading glasses on as she made her entrance, but she quickly straightened into a more respectable stature when she noticed their guest. She presented a bright smile to Ai, one that only brightened when she noticed Kairi sleeping in his arms.

“Hello,” she greeted, her tone an octave higher in friendliness. “You must be one of Rin’s friends.”

Ai bowed the best he could without disturbing Kairi which ended up being little more than a head tilt. “Yes, ma’am, I am Nitori Aiichirou. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Ai was my roommate last year,” Rin clarified.

His mother’s eyes widened, and her entire demeanor softened. Rin tried to speak of last year in vague terms around his mother, but he knew that she still picked up on a lot of what happened. That said, she valued Ai almost as much as Rin did.

“I see. I hope you are staying with us tonight, Aiichirou. It is much too late to take the train,” she said.

Rin smiled smugly as Ai blushed. “Thank you very much, ma’am!”

“I’ll move Kairi’s baby bed into Gou’s room tonight, and Rin can set up a futon in his room. How does that sound?” she suggested.

Ai turned to Rin, and Rin nodded to his mother. “That would be great. Thanks.”

Rin’s mother bustled off to take care of the arrangements, and the moment she disappeared from sight, Ai turned to Rin. “I really don’t mind going back to Samezuka if this is too much trouble,” he fretted.

Rin did not often glare at his friends anymore, Ai in particular, but he felt the occasion was appropriate here. He narrowed his eyes to let Ai know that he was thoroughly unamused. “Don’t be stupid,” he chided. “Stay here for the night, and you can go back tomorrow morning. It’s not a big deal.”

Ai consented, but Rin noticed the way he rubbed Kairi’s back, occasionally swaying to make sure she stayed asleep. He seemed to use Kairi as a security blanket almost as much as she did to him.

They heard Gou’s and his mother’s voices as the latter informed the former of the room change. Rin recognized Gou’s whine up until he caught Ai’s name pulled into the conversation. Curiously, Gou became a bit more agreeable after that, and she even emerged from her bedroom to help.

“Hello, Nitori-kun!” she greeted, smiling warmly. She already wore her pink pajamas.

Ai smiled in return. “Hello, Kou-san. I’m sorry to inconvenience you.”

“Not at all,” Gou dismissed even though they all knew she would have thrown a fit under any different circumstances. “Anything for you.”

Ai blushed, and Rin felt pleased almost as much as he felt uncomfortable. He knew that Gou liked Ai, but he wondered just how the blue-eyed boy managed to achieve this level of her approval. He really was a remarkable kid. Rin still had a hard time aligning the gentle-natured boy in front of him with the image of child abuse. Could he really have come from such a household?

Rather than linger on that, Rin helped his mother move the baby bed from his room to Gou’s room. Then he pulled a futon out of the closet along with a pillow and blanket, and he made a nice spot on the floor next to his bed.

When he finished, he found Ai and Gou laying Kairi to bed in Gou’s room. They covered her tiny body with a silky blanket, and then watched her peaceful face with soft eyes.

Rin cleared his throat in the doorway. “Are you two done staring creepily at the baby?”

Ai startled while Gou stuck out her tongue. Any other day, Rin would have taken their reactions in stride, but now he wondered. Did Ai jump at unexpected noises due to his childhood? Now his rage fired up again, and Rin marched back to his room before anyone could see.

Ai followed him in his bedroom, and his mother’s head popped in soon after. “Good night, boys. If you need anything, just call for me.”

She shut the door behind her, and Rin and Ai were left alone in the room. This should not have seemed strange as they did share a dorm room for a year, but somehow, the silence weighed heavier between them. Perhaps it was the intimacy of being in Rin’s room as opposed to neutral ground, or maybe they simply shared too much history between them now.

“I’ll take the futon. You can sleep on the bed,” Rin grunted.

“I can’t let you do that!” Ai protested. “You should sleep on your own bed. I don’t mind the futon.”

“You’re a guest here, so get over it,” Rin sighed.

“I am imposing, and besides, we’ve shared a room before,” Ai said.

“You’re not imposing, and we’ve never shared this room,” Rin argued.

Ai bit his lip, and Rin supposed he addressed the true problem here. He felt like he was combining the past and the present by inviting Ai to sleep here. This room housed all his childhood dreams, something clear by the posters and old training regimens on the wall, and Ai represented everything he grew and developed to be. Bringing the two together felt catastrophic.

“Fine,” Rin sighed.

He moved the futon over, and then dragged his mattress to the floor next to it. After a bit of adjusting, the two sleeping spaces looked nearly identical.

“Compromise,” Rin explained.

Ai muffled a laugh, and Rin wondered why Ai did not climb into bed. The hour was late by now, but then Rin realized what was missing.

“Oh, you can borrow some of my sleeping clothes,” Rin said. He found a T-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts that would fit Ai well enough and tossed them to him. “The bathroom is across the hall.”

“Thank you, Rin-senpai.”

While Ai left to change, Rin put on a pair of shorts and loose T-shirt himself. His mind buzzed with barely-suppressed activity, and he could not understand why he felt so nervous to do something that he used to do every day.

Shaking his head, Rin lowered himself onto his own mattress. When Ai stepped back in the room, he said, “Will you shut the door and turn out the lights?”

“Sure.”

The room plunged into darkness and vaguely visible outlines, and Rin felt more than heard Ai crawl into the futon. The smaller boy curled on his side and pulled the blanket over his shoulders. The gesture reminded Rin of every other time he heard him perform his sleeping routine, and Rin distantly missed Ai as his roommate. Minus his disaster area of a desk, of course.

Then an entirely new thought occurred to Rin, and he felt sick.

“Ai?” he whispered into the dark. “Did you have all that clutter in our room because you didn’t want to leave it at your house?”

The beat of silence lasted so long that Rin wondered if Ai miraculously fell asleep instantly, but then his quiet voice replied, “Yes. I wasn’t sure what he would do if he suddenly got mad, so I felt safer having everything I cared about with me.”

Something clenched in Rin’s heart. It had been a long day. A long week. A long month really. He began his third year of high school with the intention to focus on school and swimming and nothing else. With the help of his friends, he finally managed to lift himself from his depression last year, and he planned to take full advantage of his renewed motivation.

But then Kairi crashed into his life, and she altered perspective until he barely recognized his old plan. And more than that, he had to reanalyze every moment he had ever spent with Ai to factor in this new information.

For a roommate who chattered all the time, Rin barely knew Ai at all.

He felt dirty and guilty as old memories bloomed in Rin’s mind, and they appeared completely different now.

“Ai…” Rin never would have found the courage to voice his next question if the darkness had not hidden both their faces. “Why did you… stay with me? I was violent, and I probably scared you. At that last race I threw a punch, and you flinched even though I ended up hitting that wall. How could you want to be near me after that?”

“Rin-senpai…” Ai sighed. “I wish you wouldn’t mull over this. It’s in the past.”

Rin never thought a situation would exist in which Ai was the mature, reasonable one and he was the clingy one. Still, he needed to know. Even if it was selfish, he needed this reassurance.

Ai seemed to realize this, for he sighed. “You’re not like my father. You never wanted to hurt me. You just had too much going on inside you, and you needed a way to let some of that out. I could tell the difference.”

Rin did not realize he held his breath until he slowly exhaled. He felt guilty for the relief that lightened the load in his heart, but he was so scared for a moment that he was just another monster in Ai’s life. No wonder the kid knew how to handle him so well.

“Besides,” Ai continued. “I liked you. Like you. Your drive and your hard work. Your talent that you made yourself. I admired that more than I could ever fear you.”

The words eased something inside of Rin, and he let his hand fall in the space between them. He reached without demanding, and he did not entirely know what he wanted from the gesture until Ai’s fingers intertwined with his.

It should have been weird. He should have pulled his hand back and turned over. Instead, he indulged himself in the small comfort.

“Ai, I’m sorry. For what you went through. And what I put you through. What I’m still putting you through. I-”

Ai squeezed his hand to cut him off. “Are you talking about Kairi? Because don’t apologize for that. First, it’s not your fault. Second, this isn’t just about doing a favor for you anymore. For any of us. We all love Kairi, and we’re all doing this for her.”

Rin did not argue that. He knew it was true.

“And there’s nothing you should be sorry for. You already apologized for last year, and I forgave you.”

The skin where they touched tingled, and warmth flooded Rin’s system. He became overwhelmingly aware of Ai’s body right next to him, barely inches away, and his whispered words gave him something to hold. Something like courage.

“Fine, I won’t apologize, but let me say this. Thank you. For putting up with me. For helping me. For showing me what I was missing.”

Suddenly, what little distance between them seemed like too much for what Rin was trying to say, so he turned on his side at the edge of the mattress. His eyes took a moment to adjust, but when they did, he registered Ai’s gentle expression barely two centimeters from his own. His blue eyes appeared so much darker in the dimness.

“You gave me so much,” Rin murmured.

When Ai parted his lips to reply, it made far more sense to close the difference between them. Rin tasted his words rather than heard them, and their hands between them felt like an anchor in a floating world.

Ai hesitantly kissed him back, and they continued in that slow dance for fear of what ending their moment would do. Of course, the anxiety was unfounded. When they finally pulled apart, they smiled at each other in the dark, a little embarrassed but floating with happiness.

Talking seemed unnecessary at this point, and they fell asleep more in the space between their beds than on them.


	11. Rock-a-Bye Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next-to-last chapter. There will be one more after this to wrap things up.

Ai heard footsteps, and he shifted back onto his own futon. Years of feeling unsafe in his home left him a light sleeper, and he felt thankful for his early morning awareness now. While he did not think Rin’s mother would scream or shout or kick him out of the house for finding her son so close to another boy, he would not risk it.

A moment later, a door creaked open, and Rin’s mother peeked her head inside. Ai closed his eyes and feinted sleep.

“Rin,” she called softly. Though Ai could not see her, he heard the quaver in her voice. “Rin, honey, please come here.”

Rin turned and sat up. Ai listened as he rubbed at his eyes and brushed his hair from his face. “Is something wrong?” he muttered. He noticed the waver as well.

“Just come to the kitchen. Gou is up. Bring your friend, too,” she instructed. Footsteps then sounded again until they faded away.

A gentle hand touched Ai’s shoulder, and Ai opened his eyes. Rin stared down at him with worry lines around his mouth. “Mom just called us to the kitchen. I think something has happened,” he murmured.

Ai nodded, and he did his best to grasp at the fraying ends of his emotions. Rin already stood, and while he pulled his hair back in a messy ponytail, Ai took a deep breath. He knew he needed to focus. This was likely about Kairi and probably had nothing to do with him and Rin. Even if he felt as if the whole world had blown apart and realigned after last night, the rest of the population likely felt no different.

Well, that was not true. Judging by the shakiness of Rin’s mother, something even bigger had happened than he and Rin last night.

He rose from the futon and quickly folded the blanket. He still wore Rin’s clothes, and while the stretchy band in the shorts fit well enough, the shirt slipped off one of his shoulders. He adjusted the clothing to be a bit less erotic.

“We should go,” Ai said.

Rin nodded, and they left his bedroom.

Rin’s mother waited at the kitchen table. She still wore her pajamas, but she appeared the epitome of business as she studied a document through her reading glasses. Gou shuffled around in the kitchen, and Ai smelled eggs. Even under these sober circumstances, Ai admired the hominess of the situation. A family who loved each other. Cooked meals. Immediate unity upon a crisis.

This feeling was what made him join the swim team in the first place. He craved this kind of belonging, and Ai imagined that Kairi did, too.

“Have a seat,” Rin’s mother offered.

Rin sat across from her, and Ai took the chair next to him. A moment later, Gou gave them both cups of tea. “Breakfast will be ready soon,” she said.

Once she returned to the stove, Rin murmured to Ai, “She cooks when she gets anxious.”

Ai’s eyes widened, and he stared at his tea with new respect. Then he shifted his gaze to the papers in Rin’s mother’s hands and the pinched expression on her face as she read them.

“What’s going on?” Rin asked. He cupped his tea with both hands, but his piercing gaze locked onto the document.

Rin’s mother sighed and put the papers on the table. “An envelope arrived this morning, and these were in it. Reishi is suing for custody of Kairi.”

“No way,” Rin hissed, and Ai noticed his fingers tighten around the ceramic cup. A sense of cold water seeping through his veins enveloped him as the implications of this registered in Ai’s mind. If Reishi actually won…

“We should have seen this coming. This was the logical next step after we did not relinquish Kairi to him immediately. I should have kicked his ass while I had the chance,” she cursed.

“No judge would give Kairi to him, right? He practically kicked his own wife out, and courts normally give kids to the mothers anyway. Right?”

“This case is different.”

Rin paused in his tirade of righteous fury as Gou cut him off with calm words. She placed four plates of scrambled eggs on the table and sat down in the last chair between her brother and her mother. Ai often saw glimpses of this Gou, the one who whipped the Iwatobi boys into shape. He knew of how she organized training schedules and group practices and such.

However, Gou as the swim team manager was just a diluted form. Now Ai saw her as the warrior princess for which she was named.

“Yuki’s post-partum depression is a mark against her. I’ve been doing research ever since she moved in with us, and most court cases involving a depressed mother end with the children going to the father. However.” Gou sharply looked at them with a glint in her determined eyes. “Reishi has not been entirely smart about this. We have evidence of his qualities that show how he might not be the best father for Kairi.”

“Will that be enough?” Ai asked. He thought of his own research of court cases and how sometimes even extensive evidence of someone’s bad character did not prove enough to convict them.

“No,” Gou admitted.

The hope left Rin’s and his mother’s eyes like a candle flame going up in smoke.

“Which is why I have thought of an alternative plan,” Gou continued, a mischievous smile working through her serious demeanor. “According to my research, the cases that did not end with the children going to the father used another option.”

As Gou explained her plan, Ai stretched his hand under the table, and Rin reached out his own. They clasped fingers and squeezed.

There was finally some hope.

…

On the same day that they received the notification of Reishi suing for custody, Rin’s mother sent a request to adopt Kairi as her own.

The date for the court case was set for one month from that day.

Gou began gathering evidence and constructing a plan to ensure their own victory.

…

Ai started spending a lot of time at the Matsuoka home. He and Rin returned to Samezuka for school and swim practice, but they always came home for the weekend. Despite the circumstances under which they did so, Ai felt happiness welling up inside of him.

Oddly enough, dating Rin did not entirely change their dynamic. Rin had always been a bit protective and attentive to him, and even Ai could admit to how he tended to look up to Rin as if he created the stars. The tentative kisses shared in privacy and gentle touches of reassurance between every day occurrences seemed just like filling in the missing pieces.

They did not tell anyone, but they did not not tell anyone either. The relationship felt new and quiet, and they preferred the privacy. Though they did not discuss it, they would probably tell people eventually. Maybe when everything else going on around them blew over.

…

On one such weekend Rin and Ai took Kairi to their backyard. The toddler crawled in the soft grass, and she pawed at the golden and azure flowers. When pollen blew in her face, she wrinkled her nose and giggled.

Rin and Ai sat on the porch swing and watched from afar. While Kairi’s mother still rarely ventured outside of the bedroom, everyone else had grown accustomed to living with a child. Even Gou became a master of making Kairi laugh with assorted silly faces. Rin could make a bottle in less than ten seconds. Rin’s mother threw toys in her cart when she went shopping.

And of course, Ai always adored Kairi. He imagined that his affinity for her was what made Rin’s family welcome him into their house so quickly. Rin insisted that they just liked him.

Ai was not sure, but Gou certainly enjoyed his presence. She dragged him into her room on more than one occasion to help her pick out an outfit for a date with Mikoshiba or even just to do homework together.

Rin’s mother always smiled at him, and she tended to invite him over more than Rin did. Ai felt a bit flustered at all the attention but in a good way. In a warm wonderful way.

Kairi found a cricket in the grass, and she tried to chase the insect. Her chubby legs and little hands were not quite fast enough, and she found herself distracted by a section of purple flowers.

“You have a beautiful place,” Ai said in awe.

Rin glanced around the yard, and he acted as if the thought just occurred to him. Maybe he did not realize what he had.

“Where do you live? I don’t think you ever told me,” Rin said.

Ai winced. “A tiny apartment in the suburbs. Nothing like this! The air is so sweet.”

“You should stay here during the break. Instead of going back to your house,” Rin offered.

Ai stared at him with surprise, but the third year carefully turned his head away. However, Ai still noticed the light blush on his cheeks. Ai beamed. “I would like that,” he said shyly.

Their shoulders pressed against each other as the swing gently rocked back and forth. A light breeze carried the scents of the flowers, and Kairi’s giggles made a nice harmony with the tweeting of birds. Ai wished moments like this could last forever.

“If you two don’t want anyone to know yet, you better separate in the next two minutes.”

Ai jumped, and Rin glared at his sister. Gou stood beside them with a clipboard, and Ai wondered just how dazed he had been that he did not notice her presence.

“What are you talking about?” Rin demanded.

Gou shot him a look that clearly told him not to insult her intelligence. “I invited Makoto, Haru, Nagisa, and Rei here. Like I said, you might want to find a new position if you don’t feel like having the talk yet.”

Ai inched to the far side of the swing, but Rin focused on his argument. “Why are they coming?”

“I have a few ideas for the case, and I need their help. We’ll have the meeting out here because I’m going to need you and Ai-chan, too.”

Rin sulked for a moment, but by the time the Iwatobi boys arrived, he relaxed into his neutral state once again. Ai guessed he was mostly grumpy that Gou figured them out so easily, and while it shocked Ai at first, the second year decided they really should have seen that one coming.

They heard the four enter before they saw them. Nagisa’s chatter made a good beacon for their presence, and soon he darted out of the house and straight toward Kairi. The blond sat across from the baby and reached for her hands. They soon played a strange variation of patty-cake.

The other three made a subtler entrance. Makoto and Haru, forever joined at the hip, greeted Rin, and Rin smiled in turn. Rei kept his eyes trained on Nagisa as if to make sure the exuberant boy did not accidently harm her in any way.

Gou clapped her hands for their attention. “All right, everyone sit down. This is important,” she instructed.

Rin’s family’s porch offered plenty of furniture for outdoor relaxing. Makoto and Haru shared a bench while Rei took a rocking chair. Nagisa stayed with Kairi, and Gou seemed to decide that Kairi’s side was probably the best place for him anyway.

“Gou-san, does this have to do with the court case?” Rei inquired.

Gou nodded. “Yes, I have been researching the cases that won with a third-party adoption, and they all have witnesses proclaiming the happiness of the child under the care of the third-party. All of you have kept Kairi while she’s been with Mom, so I wanted to ask if you would all give testimony at the case.”

“We will do anything to help,” Makoto agreed immediately.

“Ooh, we get to talk to a judge in a real court?” Nagisa whistled from across the yard. Kairi waved from her perch on his shoulders.

Gou tried to hide her exasperation, but she did not quite manage it. Ai noticed that she looked rather tired. He guessed she had not been sleeping as much lately since she did so much research for the case around school and the swim club. Not to mention, she had been cooking a lot.

“Anyway, please prepare a script of what you will say, so I can review it,” Gou continued. “Four testimonies to Mom’s character should be solid.”

“Only four?” Rin repeated.

Gou turned her attention to where Ai and Rin swung. “You two have a different assignment. You can testify Reishi’s bad character by recounting your experiences with him. You have plenty of material there.”

Rin and Ai both nodded their confirmation.

“What about Kairi’s mother?” Haru asked. He kept such a straight face and quiet voice, but his simple question silenced everyone.

“I’m taking care of that,” Gou assured them. “Please have your scripts to me in three days. We will work on them and practice your delivery. We are giving this our best shot.”

…

By the time their court date rolled around, everyone had memorized what they planned to say during their testimony as well as how to answer possible questions. They never lied, but Gou wanted to prepare them, so they did not freeze when the time came. Other than Nagisa occasionally straying from script and rambling about other topics, everything went smoothly.

During that time Kairi also learned to walk. She took her first steps toward Ai who held a strawberry popsicle that she wanted to taste.

Not only that but the boys neared the swimming preliminaries. They stayed late for extended practices, and Rin spent twice as long in his office. When he took the team from Mikoshiba, he meant to do his duty properly. He sometimes did not finish with comparing times and adjusting individual regimens for everyone until the early hours of morning.

Ai brought him coffee during those times, and while Rin wanted to personally supervise everyone, Ai helped with the filing.

Gou nearly worked herself to death. Makoto took some of the load off her with the swim club, but she still devoted incredible amounts of time to her four boys.

But when Ai stayed the weekend with Rin, he heard Gou typing away on her computer late into the night. A few times, Ai and Rin joined her. They provided conversation when she needed a break, but when she chose to go back to work, they stayed quiet and proofread her documents.

They may have been two rival schools, but the seven of them were a team. Even Sousuke and Momo made good alternate members. They helped with swim club duties and babysat Kairi when the others did a full test run of all their testimonies.

As for Kairi’s mother, Gou worked on that issue in private, but she did eventually tell Rin and Ai what she was doing. She found a therapist for Yuki, and they attended regular appointments to work through her depression. If things continued how Gou hoped, she would soon gain a medicine prescription that would help Yuki return to normal life.

It was a slow process, but she had a great deal of hope.

Rin and Ai did not ask her the obvious question.

Would this all be enough?

…

When the court date finally arrived, all four Iwatobi boys along with Gou, Rin, and Ai did not go to school. They dressed in variations of suits and dress slacks, and they rode the train with Rin and Gou’s mother. They spoke very little on the trip there.

…

Rin’s mother and Gou had to sit in a separate area than the rest of them. The witnesses filed into a pew, and when no one looked, Rin took Ai’s hand and gave it a brief squeeze for reassurance.

Reishi stood across the room from Rin’s mother. He also wore a suit but he accessorized his with a wickedly charming smile.

…

The trial lasted two and a half hours.

…

On that day Rin’s mother became the legal guardian of a third child, Kairi Yatogami. The official name change to Kairi Matsuoka would occur later, but as of the moment the trial ended, Kairi would go home with her true family.

They just barely managed to wait until they were out of the courthouse before they celebrated.

The boys cheered with shouts and fists in the air. Nagisa jumped on Rei’s back, and Haru and Makoto shared private smiles. Gou slumped against her mother with exhausted relief right before Rin pulled her into a tight hug. Then everyone joined, and they all hugged Gou as tightly as they could.

Once she managed to wrestle from their grips, Rin took Ai in his arms and kissed him right on the mouth. That took care of telling anyone.

…

Chatter filled the train ride home. Rin’s childhood friends pestered Ai and him with questions, but everyone accepted the development easily. Gou must have gotten her eye for detail maternally because his mother was not surprised.

But conversation soon turned to the court case, and they all saluted Gou once again. They had answered every question perfectly thanks to her diligence. Really, they owed it all to her.

She blushed, and tears rose to her eyes, but Ai imagined she mostly wanted to go home and sleep for a long time.

…

They departed at the train station. The Iwatobi boys went to their separate homes, and Ai went with the Matsuoka family. Kairi waited for them at home with Sousuke. Rin had asked his friend to keep her, and the green-eyed boy smiled widely at the good news.

However, he also seemed eager to depart, and Ai remembered how awkwardly he handled Kairi. Sousuke was a kind friend to agree to babysit anyway.

They each took turns hugging Kairi and holding her close. They told her that she never had to leave, and she giggled and cooed even though she did not entirely understand what they said.

…

That night, Gou went to sleep early.

Yuki Yatogami took another dose of antidepressants, her fourth day in a row. The accomplishment made her smile.

Their mother enjoyed a hot bath and then slept deeply on the couch.

Kairi played as hard as she could until she passed out on the floor. Rin carried her to her baby bed in his room.

Rin and Ai shared his bed. They did nothing but sleep, barely touching really. The warmth and proximity gave them comfort, and they whispered to one another until sleep took them as well.


	12. My Little Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure fluff~

Balloons tumbled across the soft grass as a gentle breeze stirred up the decorations as well as the rich scent of cake. Chatter and laughter made pleasant music, and even the heat of summer felt enjoyable in evening with the accompaniment of shade trees. Ai once told Rin that his backyard was beautiful, and he could see it now.

Kairi turned one year old today, and they invited the relay teams from both Iwatobi and Samezuka. While Rin’s mother fretted that there would not be any children her own age at her party, Rin assured her that her guests would be thrilled to attend.

Yuki actually made the cake for her daughter’s birthday. She had been venturing out from the bedroom more and more, and she accomplished a small task or two each day. Most of the time. She occasionally had bad days, but the therapy and medication were doing wonders. She had even started apartment shopping, and while Kairi would stay with Rin and Gou and their mother, Yuki planned to find a job and begin the slow process of getting back on her feet.

They all made a point not to rush her, but Yuki wanted the independence. With time anyway.

Sousuke helped Yuki carry the cake out to the picnic table, and Rin’s mother volunteered to cut slices. Nagisa scooped the ice cream, and Rei poured drinks. He made a point to fill each glass with the proper amount of ice and lemonade and then angled the umbrella for optimum beauty.

Haru and Makoto came out with large plates of rice cakes that Haru made himself. Still warm and perfectly fluffy, they went quickly, but Haru made enough for everyone to have ten if they so dared.

Momo piled his plate high with cake, ice cream, and rice cakes, and everyone winced at the idea of the already energetic boy reaching a sugar high. Luckily, Gou invited her boyfriend, so he could take care of his little brother later. Gou and Mikoshiba rocked on the porch swing and watched the festivities with bright smiles. Rin’s mother gave them each a plate.

Soon, everyone had enough food and drink to satisfy them, and they mingled in the yard cheerfully. When they spent time together like this, the lines between Iwatobi and Samezuka faded away, and laughter became the prominent factor.

Rin lingered in the doorway and watched all this take place with a small smile. He had run to the store to pick up more ice cream, but as he observed everyone settle into contentment, he thought maybe the trip was a waste. Ah well, they would eat it eventually.

His eyes scanned the yard for two people into particular, and his smile widened when he found them. Ai sat on the grass with his back against the tree, and Kairi buried her hands into her cake beside him.

Rin crossed the yard, nodding and smiling at his friends, and settled next to Ai. The blue-eyed boy beamed as soon as he saw him, and Rin’s lips imitated him.

“Hey,” he said, stupidly happy.

“Hey,” Ai returned. “Kairi likes the cake.”

The blue icing matted Kairi’s wispy red hair to her head, and the rest of the icing seemed to find a home on her face. Even bits of cake crumbs littered her cheeks.

“I can see that,” Rin laughed.

Kairi seemed to sense that they were talking about her as she giggled and waved her icing-coated fingers at them.

“Children are charming,” Ai teased.

Rin’s eyes softened as he watched Ai take a napkin and wipe Kairi’s face. The last months had been the happiest of his life. Since Rin would be going to university soon, they planned to remodel his room for Kairi. In the meantime they shared the space, and while that had its own problems, they managed well enough.

Ai came over every weekend now, and their friends accepted them easily. While Ai had not told his family, nor did he plan to, everyone that mattered congratulated them and even joked that they were not surprised in the slightest.

Not only that, but both Iwatobi and Samezuka advanced to nationals in the relay. The Olympics did not seem such a far off dream after all.

His heart swelling with unbridled happiness, Rin leaned over to kiss Ai’s lips, and while the younger boy hesitated out of surprise, he soon melted into the embrace and returned the gesture.

Between Ai and Kairi and the Olympics on the horizon, Rin felt as if every possibility in the world rested at his fingertips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So I wanted to thank everyone who has been reading this story. I've enjoyed writing it, and it feels good to know that others have enjoyed it as well. So a big thank you for all the support and a special thank you to my friend, Taylor. She's been my beta editor through this story, and she points out all my errors and inconsistencies. I couldn't do it without her!
> 
> Anyway, thank you all, and I hope everyone is having the best day :)


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